"I love you to death! But, my ultimate goal is to get rid of you!"

Ah... the smiles, the laughs, and the "Whats!?!?"

You see, that is my "tag-line."

Many people that might have heard that from an ED Nurse or others... well, I am proud to say I helped pass it on to many others! I don't remember where or when I first heard it, but it struck and stuck with me as the perfect metaphor for what I do!

Again, I am not the first to say it, and I don't know how many have picked it up, and I am sure many, many more have said it also! So... if you find yourself in the situation that you had to go to the ED, and you happen to hear or even overhear a Nurse say that... speak up! And say, "Excuse me! I know a nurse in Phoenix, Arizona that frequently says that!" Now, you will have to quickly explain that you heard or read from me, or know someone who knows me who reported I said that... or else a certain cynicism might be reared... but eventually in 50 to 100 years... through FB, MSp, email, and whatever is to come, I just might be referenced!!! ;)

You see, I will advocate for you, do everything that I can for you, and make sure you get what you need, if you are a patient of mine in the ED. You and I will not always agree on the priority status of said need... but due to HIPPA regulations, I can only tell you that you are one of X number of patients that I am caring for, or you are currently are one of X number of patients in the ED at the time...

As I said, it is the perfect metaphor!

You see as an ED Nurse, I want to help you and get you through the acute interventions/treatment/diagnostics/disposition process as quickly as I can. I will admit, this is both a professional and personal goal...

Most people don't want to spend hours in the ED. Likewise, I as a Nurse don't want you here either! There are a bunch of really sick/ill people that come to the ED... sometimes they have problems that I want to minimize my other patients exposure to! So it is a two-fold process... get them through, and get you through! Part of me "rushing you through the process" is that you are OK and will be fine! Who really wants to be in a place that they really could be exposed in/to and get sick from just being there? This really boggles some of my younger parents, who bring their baby in for a fever... tests are done, and we quickly discharge them often. They seem upset, but when I explain that your baby has a cold, a viral illness, etc... you really don't want to be here with all of these contagious diseases around... they are quick to want to leave. Don't get me wrong, we do the tests, the diagnostics, we confirm quickly... a kid with a cold next to a kid with CAP (community acquired pneumonia) or RSV... needs to get out of the ED and home ASAP!

I really don't make an effort to make anyone wait for things, especially a discharge to home! Your good... OK... nothing life-threatening, I want you to be able to get home as quickly as I you can before you are exposed to some contagious disease or other process/problem that might make you sick! But if you are sick/ill and require admission, I want to get you to where you will best be cared for and taken care of as quickly as possible.

So last night I had all three, well maybe 2.5 ...

I got a smile, and a thank you as I wheeled my patient to their inpatient room...

A laugh, this is the 0.5, as it was really a chuckle and a question as to why I wasn't going to be their nurse overnight... this patient had been somewhat heavily medicated for their condition/problem!

And a "What!" Your discharging me!?" Apparently this patient did not receive the treatment that they expected... nor the diagnosis... nor the expected prescriptions! ;) Even though... ___

Well, fill in the blank... even a non-nurse, non-ED HCW can probably fill it in!

Remember!

I love you to death! But my ultimate goal is to get rid of you! My job is to get you were you need to go/be!