I have experienced many things in my life. In fact, most people are amazed when I tell them some of my experiences and stories!
As a side note, to help illustrate my point, an anesthesiologist I work with, recently had a difficult intubation. I could sense his anxiety, and after several failed attempts, I began to see his panic. You see, it was a day that we only had one OR running. That means there was only one anesthesiologist there that day... him! He had no "back-up," no other anesthesiologist to call upon. I asked him if he would like me (a nurse), to take a look and/or try the intubation.
His response was typical of what I have often dealt with... He asked, "And how many people have you intubated?!?!"
Now, to put this into perspective, this Physician is the one that is ultimately responsible for the patient during surgery. He is in trouble, he is having difficulty. Someone offers to help and he takes a stance that I still, to this day, have difficulty comprehending.
I digress. I answered his question as concisely as I could...
"Well, let me think. I became an IEMT (Intermediate Emergency Medical Technician) in 1988 and a Paramedic in 1989. So, since 1988, in the past 20+ years, I have probably intubated a few thousand patients."
This physician had a blank stare on his face! His response was, "You were doing this before I even started medical school!"
Needless to say, I offered some advice and talked him through what I would do... he listened, followed my advice, and ultimately secured this patient's airway and the surgery continued.
Did I save a life that day? Probably not. As the surgery would not have happened and the patient would have been awakened. However, I did at least two things that day!
First and foremost, I improved the life of my patient, by affecting the outcome of the surgery. Secondly, I humbled someone and made them realize that there are others that have more experience than them. I hope that this made him a better physician!
So the purpose of this story?
I have experienced many things in my life. In each and every case/situation, I can truly say that I am thankful!
One of these days... I will sit down and write a book!
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Close Call!
So...
Yesterday, Wednesday, July 22, 2009... I experienced something, that I have not for many years! In fact I was a teenager, away at summer camp, up around Payson...
So, I was outside, on a front porch/deck, enjoying a rainstorm (under shelter of course)... talking on my cellphone, when...
I saw a flash, both somehow heard and saw it, a crack in both the audible/visual/physical sense...
There was a blue haze...
My hairs (plural! Just about all of them!), stood on end...
Almost instantaneously, as all this was occurring, felt and heard the crack/bang/boom of thunder!
There was a lighting strike, very, very close by...
Two dogs that were outside with me, jumped up and were inside the house within milliseconds... just a few milliseconds before me!
I was still on my phone, and as the party I was talking to will attest... it took me a few moments to compose myself!
It was one of those "wrap around" storms! The Arizona monsoon in Flagstaff, typically comes in from the West. This one came in from the East, and seemed to pack a particularly heavy punch, as the hail and heavy rain started a few minutes after my "close call!"
I was able to finish the conversation, despite my accelerated heart rate!
A close call, but one I wonder about...
Yesterday, Wednesday, July 22, 2009... I experienced something, that I have not for many years! In fact I was a teenager, away at summer camp, up around Payson...
So, I was outside, on a front porch/deck, enjoying a rainstorm (under shelter of course)... talking on my cellphone, when...
I saw a flash, both somehow heard and saw it, a crack in both the audible/visual/physical sense...
There was a blue haze...
My hairs (plural! Just about all of them!), stood on end...
Almost instantaneously, as all this was occurring, felt and heard the crack/bang/boom of thunder!
There was a lighting strike, very, very close by...
Two dogs that were outside with me, jumped up and were inside the house within milliseconds... just a few milliseconds before me!
I was still on my phone, and as the party I was talking to will attest... it took me a few moments to compose myself!
It was one of those "wrap around" storms! The Arizona monsoon in Flagstaff, typically comes in from the West. This one came in from the East, and seemed to pack a particularly heavy punch, as the hail and heavy rain started a few minutes after my "close call!"
I was able to finish the conversation, despite my accelerated heart rate!
A close call, but one I wonder about...
Where are we heading?
I watched and listened to a speech tonight, that inflamed me, and made me angry! Luckily I had a friend that I could call, talk to, and vent to!
I am a health care provider... as such, I have be somewhat recession proof. However now, I fear that my job is now in jeopardy, as I work for a private company. My employer rarely provides services to a certain group of patients, as their primary insurer does not pay for services provided... even though we are more efficient, have less complications, and otherwise do a better job than other providers!
So here I am, not only looking at the cost of me retaining Health Insurance, I am looking at the stark reality that my employer may actually go out of business! Therefore, I will become not only uninsured, but unemployed!
Want to solve the Health Care crisis in America? Get the government out of the business completely!
I am a health care provider... as such, I have be somewhat recession proof. However now, I fear that my job is now in jeopardy, as I work for a private company. My employer rarely provides services to a certain group of patients, as their primary insurer does not pay for services provided... even though we are more efficient, have less complications, and otherwise do a better job than other providers!
So here I am, not only looking at the cost of me retaining Health Insurance, I am looking at the stark reality that my employer may actually go out of business! Therefore, I will become not only uninsured, but unemployed!
Want to solve the Health Care crisis in America? Get the government out of the business completely!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Sex, politics, and religion...
The three things one should never talk about at work!
However, today I was an observer/infrequent commentator to a heated discussion that involved all three!
Although the actual topics of sex and religion were not brought up, and one could argue nor was politics... the discussion relied upon, was based on, and ultimately was influenced by all three!
You see, of the two primary participants:
One was female and one was male...
One was liberal and one was conservative...
One was non-christian and one was christian...
So... sex, politics, and religion influenced this discourse!
The discussion was about Constitutional Rights.
I remained silent for most of the discussion, listening, learning and observing. I only made one comment, which was really insignificant and didn't add anything too or change the conversation in any way...
DOGS...
When I left work, I went to my friends house where I am staying. I am house/dog sitting for them, with my dog Sadie, and another mutual friend's dog Sassy. So I have three dogs in my charge: Marley, Sadie, and Sassy!
They all get along, which is the most important thing! I have had to work with and 'correct' a few behaviors here and there; however, I have learned that dogs are some of the best listeners in this world!
They appear to be attentive when you talk to them, they never talk back or interrupt (unless the door bell rings), and they truly are able to sense your mood! Offering up a lick/kiss, a paw, a snuggle, the tilting of the head, the ear going back/up...
It is an amazing thing that one can have a stressful day... only to come home and be humbled by a dog!
Which I am convinced now! Dog is an anagram for God!
Peace!
However, today I was an observer/infrequent commentator to a heated discussion that involved all three!
Although the actual topics of sex and religion were not brought up, and one could argue nor was politics... the discussion relied upon, was based on, and ultimately was influenced by all three!
You see, of the two primary participants:
One was female and one was male...
One was liberal and one was conservative...
One was non-christian and one was christian...
So... sex, politics, and religion influenced this discourse!
The discussion was about Constitutional Rights.
I remained silent for most of the discussion, listening, learning and observing. I only made one comment, which was really insignificant and didn't add anything too or change the conversation in any way...
DOGS...
When I left work, I went to my friends house where I am staying. I am house/dog sitting for them, with my dog Sadie, and another mutual friend's dog Sassy. So I have three dogs in my charge: Marley, Sadie, and Sassy!
They all get along, which is the most important thing! I have had to work with and 'correct' a few behaviors here and there; however, I have learned that dogs are some of the best listeners in this world!
They appear to be attentive when you talk to them, they never talk back or interrupt (unless the door bell rings), and they truly are able to sense your mood! Offering up a lick/kiss, a paw, a snuggle, the tilting of the head, the ear going back/up...
It is an amazing thing that one can have a stressful day... only to come home and be humbled by a dog!
Which I am convinced now! Dog is an anagram for God!
Peace!
Friday, July 10, 2009
Hard Tack & Jerky
Earlier tonight, practically yesterday now, I took a drive a few miles North of Flagstaff with a friend from work. My friend needed a ride out to an area to look for a plant.
You see, my friend is a full-blooded Hopi Indian, and he was looking for a specific plant, an herb really, that grows wild in only certain areas. The closest english equivalent is "nanakofsi."
This is the second time I went out looking for it with him. The first time was a few months ago, and he found two or three plants, I found none... This second time, I was able to spot them very easily, and found more of them than he did! This herb is used by the Hopi for some traditional dishes, and it is a great honor to find it, especially in a quantity to be able to store it through the winter months.
As we were walking back to my Jeep, the conversation strayed to the "old times." Here I was, a midwest transplant, the epitomy of the kind of person who were the early "white" settlers in the area, walking with and helping a Native American, who could trace his lineage and recount stories back for hundreds if not thousands of years...
He taught me about another plant, something akin to "wild spinich," but will require at least three boiling/straining cycles before it is palatable...
I told him about Hard Tack. Hard Tack is nothing more than a cracker on steroids! Hard Tack was something the Calvery (in the 1800's) and the early settlers relied upon for food. It is easily made: flour, salt, & water... once baked, it lasts forever! Grind up some jerky, add it to boiling water, a few herbs, vegetables if you got 'em... drop in some Hard Tack... and you got yourself a very hearty stew!
Hard Tack is just that... HARD! Once it has been baked and totally dehydrated, it is like a brick! Pratically unbreakable and will last for a long time! Jerky, is similiar! Once dried/dehydrated completely... it too will last for a long time! But, both are easily reconstituted in the presence of water (especially if it is boiling)!
So we both learned somethings tonight:
Two peoples, Native American and White, who once considered themselves enemies, can truly become friends, even brothers...
There is knowledge and experiences that can be learned from each other! I learned about two plants that are edible, and he learned about Hard Tack and Timber Rattlesnakes! (That is a whole other blog!)
Needless to say, we are planning an outing together, sort of a camping trip, we'll invite friends, a "back to basics" kind of thing...
He'll bring the nanakofsi, I got the hard tack and jerky... if we are lucky, we might catch a rabbit...
Cowboy and Indian!
You see, my friend is a full-blooded Hopi Indian, and he was looking for a specific plant, an herb really, that grows wild in only certain areas. The closest english equivalent is "nanakofsi."
This is the second time I went out looking for it with him. The first time was a few months ago, and he found two or three plants, I found none... This second time, I was able to spot them very easily, and found more of them than he did! This herb is used by the Hopi for some traditional dishes, and it is a great honor to find it, especially in a quantity to be able to store it through the winter months.
As we were walking back to my Jeep, the conversation strayed to the "old times." Here I was, a midwest transplant, the epitomy of the kind of person who were the early "white" settlers in the area, walking with and helping a Native American, who could trace his lineage and recount stories back for hundreds if not thousands of years...
He taught me about another plant, something akin to "wild spinich," but will require at least three boiling/straining cycles before it is palatable...
I told him about Hard Tack. Hard Tack is nothing more than a cracker on steroids! Hard Tack was something the Calvery (in the 1800's) and the early settlers relied upon for food. It is easily made: flour, salt, & water... once baked, it lasts forever! Grind up some jerky, add it to boiling water, a few herbs, vegetables if you got 'em... drop in some Hard Tack... and you got yourself a very hearty stew!
Hard Tack is just that... HARD! Once it has been baked and totally dehydrated, it is like a brick! Pratically unbreakable and will last for a long time! Jerky, is similiar! Once dried/dehydrated completely... it too will last for a long time! But, both are easily reconstituted in the presence of water (especially if it is boiling)!
So we both learned somethings tonight:
Two peoples, Native American and White, who once considered themselves enemies, can truly become friends, even brothers...
There is knowledge and experiences that can be learned from each other! I learned about two plants that are edible, and he learned about Hard Tack and Timber Rattlesnakes! (That is a whole other blog!)
Needless to say, we are planning an outing together, sort of a camping trip, we'll invite friends, a "back to basics" kind of thing...
He'll bring the nanakofsi, I got the hard tack and jerky... if we are lucky, we might catch a rabbit...
Cowboy and Indian!
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Influenza...
As a healthcare worker, I myself am a bit concerned over the recent "concern" regarding the "Swine Flu."
People don't understand the difference between H2N2 and H3N2; the Hong-Kong Flu, the Asian Flu, the Spanish Flu, or the Asiatic Flu.
Influenza is a common viral infection! In fact, the flu is not truly seasonal... it can be seen, caught, suffered from, and detected year round. We have a "flu season" were there is a sharp rise in the reported number of cases, where we (as healthcare workers) see the "wave" of cases... but the flu is still the flu!
In the past decades, the flu has been demystified! It is a viral infection, spread through airborne droplets from the respiratory tract.
Want to guard yourself from the flu?
1) Wash your hands... frequently!
2) Use instant hand sanitizers when you can't actually wash your hands.
3) Cover your mouth/nose when you cough and/or sneeze. Best is to cough/sneeze into the crook of your elbow, not your hands. But your hands are better than open air! Afterwards, see #1 & 2 above!
Wearing a mask really doesn't help! You can wear a mask all you want, bottom line is you are touching things all the time with your hands. These things potentially have influenza virus all over them! If you don't wash your hands... well...
Think about rubbing your eyes, eating, picking your nose, etc! Unwashed hands may contain the influenza virus! And you just introduced it into your body!
I have not had a flu-shot in over 10 years! Nor have I had the flu in those years either... 3 to 7 days of wondering, but not really the flu... why? Because in my line of work I probably wash my hands 15 times or more a day and when I'm not washing my hands outright at the sink with soap and water, I'm using an instant hand sanitizer!
BTW...
Growing up, we coined a phrase, "Ping-Pong Flu." One person would get sick, then someone else in the family would. By the time the first person felt better, someone else was sick. Eventually, it went back around again! Passed back and forth, like a ping-pong ball across the net!
Hmmm... maybe I should try to get the next strain of influenza named "Ping-Pong!"
WASH YOUR HANDS!
People don't understand the difference between H2N2 and H3N2; the Hong-Kong Flu, the Asian Flu, the Spanish Flu, or the Asiatic Flu.
Influenza is a common viral infection! In fact, the flu is not truly seasonal... it can be seen, caught, suffered from, and detected year round. We have a "flu season" were there is a sharp rise in the reported number of cases, where we (as healthcare workers) see the "wave" of cases... but the flu is still the flu!
In the past decades, the flu has been demystified! It is a viral infection, spread through airborne droplets from the respiratory tract.
Want to guard yourself from the flu?
1) Wash your hands... frequently!
2) Use instant hand sanitizers when you can't actually wash your hands.
3) Cover your mouth/nose when you cough and/or sneeze. Best is to cough/sneeze into the crook of your elbow, not your hands. But your hands are better than open air! Afterwards, see #1 & 2 above!
Wearing a mask really doesn't help! You can wear a mask all you want, bottom line is you are touching things all the time with your hands. These things potentially have influenza virus all over them! If you don't wash your hands... well...
Think about rubbing your eyes, eating, picking your nose, etc! Unwashed hands may contain the influenza virus! And you just introduced it into your body!
I have not had a flu-shot in over 10 years! Nor have I had the flu in those years either... 3 to 7 days of wondering, but not really the flu... why? Because in my line of work I probably wash my hands 15 times or more a day and when I'm not washing my hands outright at the sink with soap and water, I'm using an instant hand sanitizer!
BTW...
Growing up, we coined a phrase, "Ping-Pong Flu." One person would get sick, then someone else in the family would. By the time the first person felt better, someone else was sick. Eventually, it went back around again! Passed back and forth, like a ping-pong ball across the net!
Hmmm... maybe I should try to get the next strain of influenza named "Ping-Pong!"
WASH YOUR HANDS!
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Mind Boggling!
Over the past week and a half, I have spent in excess of $7,000.00! By the end of this week, the amount will be well in excess of $10,000.00!!!!
Luckily, I am spending my employer's money and not my own!
I have been covering/working in Materials Management. I have been responsible for the inventory of supplies and equipment, reviewing the upcoming surgery schedule, the ordering of supplies, arranging the acquisiton of necessary instruments, and trying to balance between what we truly need, to do what we need to do, versus; what do we need to do, and what do we need to do it!
In orthopedic surgery... there is a lot of 'hardware' used... screws, plates, etc... A screw that costs $ 0.03 at a hardware store... the medical equivalent... costs $ 130.00+
It is truly mind boggling!
Although my current responsibilities are more of a "behind the scenes" kind of position... being the nurse that I am, I can not help but be drawn into the fray of things! So I have been helping out, getting patients ready, recovering them from anesthesia, relieving for breaks/lunches, and otherwise being available to do the odd little things that nurses do!
All the while, I have been amazed at the 'Grand Dance' that is going on around me! Being a half a step or so removed... it is truly amazing to see everything that goes on in order for a patient to have surgery! From the front desk/check-in, the Pre-op, the float nurses the day before, the circulators and scrubs, SPD, the docs, the PACU, the housekeepers... everyone working independently, yet together!
It is truly mind boggling!
The next time you have surgery, at least in an outpatient setting... know this!
There are at least 15 people that are involved in your procedure/surgery!
Complete strangers. They do it every day Monday thru Friday, yet... they are still committed to doing the very best that they can do in order that your experience goes well!
True dedication!
Luckily, I am spending my employer's money and not my own!
I have been covering/working in Materials Management. I have been responsible for the inventory of supplies and equipment, reviewing the upcoming surgery schedule, the ordering of supplies, arranging the acquisiton of necessary instruments, and trying to balance between what we truly need, to do what we need to do, versus; what do we need to do, and what do we need to do it!
In orthopedic surgery... there is a lot of 'hardware' used... screws, plates, etc... A screw that costs $ 0.03 at a hardware store... the medical equivalent... costs $ 130.00+
It is truly mind boggling!
Although my current responsibilities are more of a "behind the scenes" kind of position... being the nurse that I am, I can not help but be drawn into the fray of things! So I have been helping out, getting patients ready, recovering them from anesthesia, relieving for breaks/lunches, and otherwise being available to do the odd little things that nurses do!
All the while, I have been amazed at the 'Grand Dance' that is going on around me! Being a half a step or so removed... it is truly amazing to see everything that goes on in order for a patient to have surgery! From the front desk/check-in, the Pre-op, the float nurses the day before, the circulators and scrubs, SPD, the docs, the PACU, the housekeepers... everyone working independently, yet together!
It is truly mind boggling!
The next time you have surgery, at least in an outpatient setting... know this!
There are at least 15 people that are involved in your procedure/surgery!
Complete strangers. They do it every day Monday thru Friday, yet... they are still committed to doing the very best that they can do in order that your experience goes well!
True dedication!
Friday, April 17, 2009
TGIF!
Today is Friday! The end of a fairly arduous workweek, the beginning of the weekend, finally a couple of days to rest, relax, and unwind!
This past week has been a busy one for me. I have also observed, that it has been busy for many of my friends. So to all of my friends, coworkers, and others... enjoy your weekend! You deserve it!
So Tax Day (April 15th) has come and gone... I am happy and proud to say, that I owed taxes this year! Why? Because when I overpay my taxes, I get a refund. My refund is nothing more than the amount of money that I paid to the government, above and beyond what they have determined that I owe them. In effect, I have given the government an interest free loan! I don't earn interest on any overpayment! That money would have been better spent sitting in a saving account, earning a 0.5 to 1% interest rate!
Yet, if I owe taxes... as long as the amount is not too great that I incur "penalties" for underpayment... I end up paying just the right amount... no interest free loans!
I digress...
Today is Friday! I am looking forward to this weekend as I have a few unfinished projects that I need to get done!
Isn't it sorta funny? One is so busy during the workweek that they can't get anything done, yet when the weekend comes, a time to rest and relax, it seems that they are even busier and work harder to get a week's worth of work around the home accomplished in two days...
Luckily, I am almost caught up. A few more weekends and I will be to the point where I can just "maintain." Once I maintain for a few weekends, I will be able to "get ahead!" Once I get ahead, I will be able to "excell!"
Won't that be nice!?
So to all of my fellow hard working friends, I wish you well on your weekend! Even if it might be delayed by a day or two, three...
This past week has been a busy one for me. I have also observed, that it has been busy for many of my friends. So to all of my friends, coworkers, and others... enjoy your weekend! You deserve it!
So Tax Day (April 15th) has come and gone... I am happy and proud to say, that I owed taxes this year! Why? Because when I overpay my taxes, I get a refund. My refund is nothing more than the amount of money that I paid to the government, above and beyond what they have determined that I owe them. In effect, I have given the government an interest free loan! I don't earn interest on any overpayment! That money would have been better spent sitting in a saving account, earning a 0.5 to 1% interest rate!
Yet, if I owe taxes... as long as the amount is not too great that I incur "penalties" for underpayment... I end up paying just the right amount... no interest free loans!
I digress...
Today is Friday! I am looking forward to this weekend as I have a few unfinished projects that I need to get done!
Isn't it sorta funny? One is so busy during the workweek that they can't get anything done, yet when the weekend comes, a time to rest and relax, it seems that they are even busier and work harder to get a week's worth of work around the home accomplished in two days...
Luckily, I am almost caught up. A few more weekends and I will be to the point where I can just "maintain." Once I maintain for a few weekends, I will be able to "get ahead!" Once I get ahead, I will be able to "excell!"
Won't that be nice!?
So to all of my fellow hard working friends, I wish you well on your weekend! Even if it might be delayed by a day or two, three...
Monday, April 13, 2009
Cheese Whiz!
Tonight I was invited over to a friend's house for dinner. She is also a co-worker and my neighbor. Another friend/co-worker/neighbor and her daughter joined us.
It was the first, official, Spring barbeque! Well, mini-barbeque, actually, hot dogs on the grill... However! It was a momentous occasion here in Flagstaff, as we had 1-2 inches of snowfall over the Easter Weekend!
There are about 6 of us that live up here on the hill. We are all friends, all work together, and are neighbors. Although there is not, what I would define as, a lot of neighborly interaction, we do see each other around... walking the dogs, at the park, the occasional dinner, house-sitting, etc.
Tonight brought back some memories... I knew my hot dogs were done. Growing up, I can remember my family grilling hot dogs. I once commented on the blackened state once, and I remember being told, "At least you know they are done." Ever since then, I like my dogs "Cajun style!" Not burnt, not well-done, but slightly charred! Blackened!
The reason for this feast? Tomorrow I will begin house/dog sitting for this friend till Friday. It was a way to get the latest scoop on what needed to be done, reacquaint myself with the dog, etc. It was also an early thank you gesture on her part.
I'm actually a pretty cheap house/dog sitter! All I need is a couch, access to laundry, and free reign in the kitchen/pantry/fridge!
So where is my rambling going...
I am honored that a friend has asked me to help them, to be responsible for their pet, and has trusted me to be in their house. Now, I am sure that they are thankful that they have found someone to house/dog sit; but I truly consider it an honor to help them and, more importantly, that they even asked me.
Some will say, "That's what friends are for." I say not! Friends aren't obliged to do anything except be a friend: someone to talk to, hang out with, support, stand-up/defend, etc. To ask someone to be responsible for your house, to care for a pet... that is something more important than friendship, a deeper trust.
So, I have had cheese dogs, hot dogs with cheese, dogs on cheezy buns... but I have never had hot dogs with Cheeze Whiz! Tonight was a first for me! Standard hot dogs, grilled (that is blackened). Standard buns.
The difference...
Cheese Whiz! From a jar, spread on the bun prior to the placement of the dog!
Surprisingly tasty! So much so that at my next get together barbeque where I grill hot dogs, not only will there be ketchup, mustard, and relish... there will be Cheese Whiz!!!
It was the first, official, Spring barbeque! Well, mini-barbeque, actually, hot dogs on the grill... However! It was a momentous occasion here in Flagstaff, as we had 1-2 inches of snowfall over the Easter Weekend!
There are about 6 of us that live up here on the hill. We are all friends, all work together, and are neighbors. Although there is not, what I would define as, a lot of neighborly interaction, we do see each other around... walking the dogs, at the park, the occasional dinner, house-sitting, etc.
Tonight brought back some memories... I knew my hot dogs were done. Growing up, I can remember my family grilling hot dogs. I once commented on the blackened state once, and I remember being told, "At least you know they are done." Ever since then, I like my dogs "Cajun style!" Not burnt, not well-done, but slightly charred! Blackened!
The reason for this feast? Tomorrow I will begin house/dog sitting for this friend till Friday. It was a way to get the latest scoop on what needed to be done, reacquaint myself with the dog, etc. It was also an early thank you gesture on her part.
I'm actually a pretty cheap house/dog sitter! All I need is a couch, access to laundry, and free reign in the kitchen/pantry/fridge!
So where is my rambling going...
I am honored that a friend has asked me to help them, to be responsible for their pet, and has trusted me to be in their house. Now, I am sure that they are thankful that they have found someone to house/dog sit; but I truly consider it an honor to help them and, more importantly, that they even asked me.
Some will say, "That's what friends are for." I say not! Friends aren't obliged to do anything except be a friend: someone to talk to, hang out with, support, stand-up/defend, etc. To ask someone to be responsible for your house, to care for a pet... that is something more important than friendship, a deeper trust.
So, I have had cheese dogs, hot dogs with cheese, dogs on cheezy buns... but I have never had hot dogs with Cheeze Whiz! Tonight was a first for me! Standard hot dogs, grilled (that is blackened). Standard buns.
The difference...
Cheese Whiz! From a jar, spread on the bun prior to the placement of the dog!
Surprisingly tasty! So much so that at my next get together barbeque where I grill hot dogs, not only will there be ketchup, mustard, and relish... there will be Cheese Whiz!!!
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Awareness...
I often think that I am very aware of what is going on around me. Many times, I seem to be 'acutely' aware! Which often scares me, not for or in the situation itself, but, why no one else can see or comprehend what is going on! My voice is often a lone voice, pointing out circumstances that to me are obvious, yet unfortunately to others, are somewhat hidden!
Luckily, when I do find myself in these situations, most will take pause and listen. I think that it is because I very rarely speak out/up, unless of course, something very seriously is about to go wrong! Then I don't hesitate one bit!
I am well respected in my profession and in my current employment. I do not abuse this respect, as I said before, I speak up only when needed. I choose to educate and inform before I stomp my feet. If my inquiries don't get people to think and realize the actual circumstances of the situation... I will say "Stop!"
So, that got me thinking this evening about other things that I am aware of!
How much do I see, how much am I aware of, how much do I know, that others are not aware of? How many things am I 'acutely' aware of, that others are not?
I am not going to stomp my feet here... but, I will let others know when there is something wrong!
So I am aware of some basic, fundamental things, that are wrong. Am I acutely aware of them, and no one else can see them? It seems that according to the news (depending on which news you watch) 42 to 48% of Americans know about them. So where are these Americans? Why are they afraid to speak up, why am I not hearing their voices?
I'll get off my political soapbox now. I'm sorry if you expected something else! But I will reserve my right to say, "I told you so!"
Luckily, when I do find myself in these situations, most will take pause and listen. I think that it is because I very rarely speak out/up, unless of course, something very seriously is about to go wrong! Then I don't hesitate one bit!
I am well respected in my profession and in my current employment. I do not abuse this respect, as I said before, I speak up only when needed. I choose to educate and inform before I stomp my feet. If my inquiries don't get people to think and realize the actual circumstances of the situation... I will say "Stop!"
So, that got me thinking this evening about other things that I am aware of!
How much do I see, how much am I aware of, how much do I know, that others are not aware of? How many things am I 'acutely' aware of, that others are not?
I am not going to stomp my feet here... but, I will let others know when there is something wrong!
So I am aware of some basic, fundamental things, that are wrong. Am I acutely aware of them, and no one else can see them? It seems that according to the news (depending on which news you watch) 42 to 48% of Americans know about them. So where are these Americans? Why are they afraid to speak up, why am I not hearing their voices?
I'll get off my political soapbox now. I'm sorry if you expected something else! But I will reserve my right to say, "I told you so!"
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Palm Sunday
Today is Palm Sunday, a day that celebrates the entrance of Jesus into Jerusalem, as he prepared to celebrate Passover.
As a Christian, I am drawn to the connections to the Jewish faith. As a simple matter, Jesus was a Jew... plain and simple! So our faith's are connected at this most basic level!
However, this is the beginning of one of the most Holy weeks in the Christian faith. Today celebrates the entrance of the Messiah. His last week on earth... as next Sunday, we celebrate his Resurection, his return to the Heavens!
I find a strange dichotomy, as I am to acknowledge and allow the observance of other "holy" weeks, yet when I try to observe or ask for acknowledgement of mine... I am often chastised, scorned, or looked upon in a disparaging way!
I guess that is not really mine to question, not mine to own, and therefore I will let it go!
Today, I went to Church to celebrate this day. The service was nothing short of pure worship! Song, praise, prayer! I am still humming and singing "How Great Though Art!" I hope that this hymn will be sung at my funeral!
So if you are wondering what I am talking about, go get yourself a Bible, and read the Book of John; about today, read John, Chapter 12...
Hossana!
As a Christian, I am drawn to the connections to the Jewish faith. As a simple matter, Jesus was a Jew... plain and simple! So our faith's are connected at this most basic level!
However, this is the beginning of one of the most Holy weeks in the Christian faith. Today celebrates the entrance of the Messiah. His last week on earth... as next Sunday, we celebrate his Resurection, his return to the Heavens!
I find a strange dichotomy, as I am to acknowledge and allow the observance of other "holy" weeks, yet when I try to observe or ask for acknowledgement of mine... I am often chastised, scorned, or looked upon in a disparaging way!
I guess that is not really mine to question, not mine to own, and therefore I will let it go!
Today, I went to Church to celebrate this day. The service was nothing short of pure worship! Song, praise, prayer! I am still humming and singing "How Great Though Art!" I hope that this hymn will be sung at my funeral!
So if you are wondering what I am talking about, go get yourself a Bible, and read the Book of John; about today, read John, Chapter 12...
Hossana!
Friday, April 03, 2009
Trying week!
This past week has been fairly trying for me!
A few late nights at work, difficult days, and an annoying problem!
This week I have been the "Float Circulating" Nurse... which means that I come in later in the day, and stay till the end! Although it is fairly simple, it sounds complicated... I come in to work in the late morning, around 8:30am. I relieve for morning breaks, and then lunches, I have to pull supplies for the next days cases, I have to pull instruments as the day progresses, I help turn over the OR's, clean/sterilize instruments. At 2pm, I help to restock the OR's, etc, etc...
There is a 6:30am (early), and a 6:30am (late nurse) that works with me. I need to relieve the 6:30am (E) nurse by 3pm. If my OR then finishes, I then clean, restock, and prepare for the next days surgeries, then relieve the 6:30am (L) nurse. When that OR is done I repeat the process all over again. Basically, I am one of the last people to leave... Which, given the uncertainty of surgery, means I can have some very long days!
Along with the long days, there have been some very difficult surigical cases this week! Not only long cases, but things that have come up, that have caused me to be a "tad" busy as times, as suddenly we go from an arthroscopic procedure, to an open procedure... that means a whole lot of opening of sterile instruments and trays, a lot of running into the sub-sterile area, out into the Pre-Op/PACU area, a lot of phone calls, pulling up xrays, MRIs, running to and fro, etc.
All in a days work! Perhaps even in a weeks work! Don't get me wrong, I love it! I love the challenge! Because there is always something new! In fact today, we had a difficult airway! The anesthesiologist had some difficulty arousing and extubating a patient in the OR following the surgery. There I was, helping him, Propofol and Zemuron at the ready, as he attempted to extubate the patient. If there was a problem, I was to assist him by re-inducting the patient so he could manage the airway!
To top this week off, I have had a bit of an eye problem! It seems that the early Spring, caused me to have an allergy problem, which resulted in a blocked tear duct! So... I have basically been crying all week! Even with nightly warm compresses, it wasn't until today (Friday) that it finally cleared! Talk about an inconvienence, especially in an OR!!!
Somehow, I wonder if it was today's Winter storm that finally broke it! You see, we got a late Winter/early Spring storm tonight! Spring, as it called for a 30% chance of rain (snow above 8K feet), Winter, as it was near blizzard conditions for about an hour tonight (at 7K feet)!
So all in all, I am ready for my weekend! At least two days off that I can just rest and relax, sleep in if I want, goof off, be lazy, do what I want! Oh... wait... I have laundry to do... darn!
This week, although trying, has been very fulfulling! Next week, will be better, as I am the 6:30am(L)... meaning I will be the second to the last person to go home! :)
A few late nights at work, difficult days, and an annoying problem!
This week I have been the "Float Circulating" Nurse... which means that I come in later in the day, and stay till the end! Although it is fairly simple, it sounds complicated... I come in to work in the late morning, around 8:30am. I relieve for morning breaks, and then lunches, I have to pull supplies for the next days cases, I have to pull instruments as the day progresses, I help turn over the OR's, clean/sterilize instruments. At 2pm, I help to restock the OR's, etc, etc...
There is a 6:30am (early), and a 6:30am (late nurse) that works with me. I need to relieve the 6:30am (E) nurse by 3pm. If my OR then finishes, I then clean, restock, and prepare for the next days surgeries, then relieve the 6:30am (L) nurse. When that OR is done I repeat the process all over again. Basically, I am one of the last people to leave... Which, given the uncertainty of surgery, means I can have some very long days!
Along with the long days, there have been some very difficult surigical cases this week! Not only long cases, but things that have come up, that have caused me to be a "tad" busy as times, as suddenly we go from an arthroscopic procedure, to an open procedure... that means a whole lot of opening of sterile instruments and trays, a lot of running into the sub-sterile area, out into the Pre-Op/PACU area, a lot of phone calls, pulling up xrays, MRIs, running to and fro, etc.
All in a days work! Perhaps even in a weeks work! Don't get me wrong, I love it! I love the challenge! Because there is always something new! In fact today, we had a difficult airway! The anesthesiologist had some difficulty arousing and extubating a patient in the OR following the surgery. There I was, helping him, Propofol and Zemuron at the ready, as he attempted to extubate the patient. If there was a problem, I was to assist him by re-inducting the patient so he could manage the airway!
To top this week off, I have had a bit of an eye problem! It seems that the early Spring, caused me to have an allergy problem, which resulted in a blocked tear duct! So... I have basically been crying all week! Even with nightly warm compresses, it wasn't until today (Friday) that it finally cleared! Talk about an inconvienence, especially in an OR!!!
Somehow, I wonder if it was today's Winter storm that finally broke it! You see, we got a late Winter/early Spring storm tonight! Spring, as it called for a 30% chance of rain (snow above 8K feet), Winter, as it was near blizzard conditions for about an hour tonight (at 7K feet)!
So all in all, I am ready for my weekend! At least two days off that I can just rest and relax, sleep in if I want, goof off, be lazy, do what I want! Oh... wait... I have laundry to do... darn!
This week, although trying, has been very fulfulling! Next week, will be better, as I am the 6:30am(L)... meaning I will be the second to the last person to go home! :)
Wednesday, April 01, 2009
The Tattoo...
Today while at work, I had the opportunity to intercede in a situation with a patient. This is one of those moments that I was where I needed to be, when I needed to be there...
A patient came in and was a difficult IV start. A very experienced and exceptional nurse was having some difficulty getting an IV started on a patient. The patient needed it, in order for their procedure. The patient was distraught, sobbing, almost to the point of cancelling her procedure, as she had been "stuck" several times and was in pain.
As I walked by, I was asked if I could take a look and try to get an IV. As the patient was sobbing, I sat down next to the patient, dabbed her tears with a tissue, and just started talking to her. I took her hand into mine and placed my other hand on her arm. We talked, I reassured her that everything was going to be OK, and that we would be able to help her. As she began to calm down, she noticed one of my tattoos (yes, I have two... one on each arm...), and asked me why I had "that" tattoo on my arm. The tattoo she was loo
king at and referring to was the one on my left arm. It is the ICTHUS. I asked her a question in response to her question, "Why do you think I would have "that" tattoo on my arm?" She responded, "Because you are a believer!" And I replied, "Yes, I am."
We connected on an even deeper level almost instantly. I could see an immediate relaxation and sense of calm come over her. We talked about a lot of things, our shared faith, her recent loss of her husband, her life as an artist, her experience as a member of the Coast Guard, her current living situation. She did most of the talking, I did most of the listening. You see, this is what my patient needed the most at that particular time! She needed someone who had a common interest, who was willing to take the time to just sit and listen, to connect, to care, to be a friend, a person, a fellow human being.
Now I will admit, I was a bit stealthy as I held her hand and was patting her upper arm... you see, as I was patting her upper arm as a distraction, I was looking at her hand and forearm - even turning it to and fro, looking for a vein to start an IV in. I kept right on listening and talking to her as I slipped the tourniquet around her arm and swabbed at a vein in her hand with the alcohol prep. I replied to her question and told her she would feel a bit of discomfort in her hand as I injected a bit of lidocaine to help numb the skin. She kept right on talking as if nothing happened.
To make a long story short, I got her IV started. She was almost amazed that I had been able to accomplish the task without any effort, or pain on her part! We sat there and talked for another 10 minutes before she went off to have her procedure.
Most would say this is a minor occurrence, a trivial thing in the day of a nurse. I would have to agree with them for the most part. But, (which is really an abbreviation for "Behold the Underlying Truth!") this was a major thing in the day of my patient! I would argue that this is a major thing in anyone's day!
How often would a complete stranger, walk up to you, come into and take an interest in your situation, spend over 15 or 20 minutes with you, completely engaged, only concerned for your welfare, disregarding everything else that they were doing or needed to do, because you need them to be right there, right then, for that reason?
If you have experienced this, consider yourself lucky! I would love for you to leave me a comment with your story!
So that was my day! Of course there was a lot of other things that happened... however, this event is what will define my day in my memory! For that I am grateful!
A patient came in and was a difficult IV start. A very experienced and exceptional nurse was having some difficulty getting an IV started on a patient. The patient needed it, in order for their procedure. The patient was distraught, sobbing, almost to the point of cancelling her procedure, as she had been "stuck" several times and was in pain.
As I walked by, I was asked if I could take a look and try to get an IV. As the patient was sobbing, I sat down next to the patient, dabbed her tears with a tissue, and just started talking to her. I took her hand into mine and placed my other hand on her arm. We talked, I reassured her that everything was going to be OK, and that we would be able to help her. As she began to calm down, she noticed one of my tattoos (yes, I have two... one on each arm...), and asked me why I had "that" tattoo on my arm. The tattoo she was loo
king at and referring to was the one on my left arm. It is the ICTHUS. I asked her a question in response to her question, "Why do you think I would have "that" tattoo on my arm?" She responded, "Because you are a believer!" And I replied, "Yes, I am."We connected on an even deeper level almost instantly. I could see an immediate relaxation and sense of calm come over her. We talked about a lot of things, our shared faith, her recent loss of her husband, her life as an artist, her experience as a member of the Coast Guard, her current living situation. She did most of the talking, I did most of the listening. You see, this is what my patient needed the most at that particular time! She needed someone who had a common interest, who was willing to take the time to just sit and listen, to connect, to care, to be a friend, a person, a fellow human being.
Now I will admit, I was a bit stealthy as I held her hand and was patting her upper arm... you see, as I was patting her upper arm as a distraction, I was looking at her hand and forearm - even turning it to and fro, looking for a vein to start an IV in. I kept right on listening and talking to her as I slipped the tourniquet around her arm and swabbed at a vein in her hand with the alcohol prep. I replied to her question and told her she would feel a bit of discomfort in her hand as I injected a bit of lidocaine to help numb the skin. She kept right on talking as if nothing happened.
To make a long story short, I got her IV started. She was almost amazed that I had been able to accomplish the task without any effort, or pain on her part! We sat there and talked for another 10 minutes before she went off to have her procedure.
Most would say this is a minor occurrence, a trivial thing in the day of a nurse. I would have to agree with them for the most part. But, (which is really an abbreviation for "Behold the Underlying Truth!") this was a major thing in the day of my patient! I would argue that this is a major thing in anyone's day!
How often would a complete stranger, walk up to you, come into and take an interest in your situation, spend over 15 or 20 minutes with you, completely engaged, only concerned for your welfare, disregarding everything else that they were doing or needed to do, because you need them to be right there, right then, for that reason?
If you have experienced this, consider yourself lucky! I would love for you to leave me a comment with your story!
So that was my day! Of course there was a lot of other things that happened... however, this event is what will define my day in my memory! For that I am grateful!
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Fantastic!
This weekend has been fantanstic!
An old High School friend came into town, Flagstaff, in order to meet "her sister halfway..." that is, my friend lives in Oregon and flew into Phoenix, her sister lives in Kingman. Halfway was 2 hour travel time for both of them, which meant Flagstaff was the spot!
I got to play host, tour guide, and gentleman... they won't admit it, but I let them win playing pool/billiards this evening... not that I am the shark... but I can hold my own... if they only knew! Hmm... hehehe...
While I was playing host, I got to see one of my work friends, which was cool! She wished me a happy Sunday! Which was a bit odd as it was Saturday... when I pointed this little fact out to her... she declared, "Bonus! Another day off!"
I hear you BDN! You are a great person and I enjoy working with you!
So my friend is off and about this evening visiting other friends in the Flagstaff area. I let her into my home to take a shower and get ready... Yes... I was the gentleman and made myself scarce to check my mail and start laundry while she was potentially indecent...
Earlier in the day I got to meet her sister. We walked around the downtown area, window shopped, visited a few stores, and then went walking... a total of 2.5+ miles in and around downtown and in Buffalo Park... not much really, but for those who live at a lower altitude... ;)
So, what does this have to do about me?
I lot! Friends, thier family, fun, outdoors, excercise, etc., etc!
This was a fantastic weekend!
An old High School friend came into town, Flagstaff, in order to meet "her sister halfway..." that is, my friend lives in Oregon and flew into Phoenix, her sister lives in Kingman. Halfway was 2 hour travel time for both of them, which meant Flagstaff was the spot!
I got to play host, tour guide, and gentleman... they won't admit it, but I let them win playing pool/billiards this evening... not that I am the shark... but I can hold my own... if they only knew! Hmm... hehehe...
While I was playing host, I got to see one of my work friends, which was cool! She wished me a happy Sunday! Which was a bit odd as it was Saturday... when I pointed this little fact out to her... she declared, "Bonus! Another day off!"
I hear you BDN! You are a great person and I enjoy working with you!
So my friend is off and about this evening visiting other friends in the Flagstaff area. I let her into my home to take a shower and get ready... Yes... I was the gentleman and made myself scarce to check my mail and start laundry while she was potentially indecent...
Earlier in the day I got to meet her sister. We walked around the downtown area, window shopped, visited a few stores, and then went walking... a total of 2.5+ miles in and around downtown and in Buffalo Park... not much really, but for those who live at a lower altitude... ;)
So, what does this have to do about me?
I lot! Friends, thier family, fun, outdoors, excercise, etc., etc!
This was a fantastic weekend!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
Memories...
Tonight, I got to chat with an old friend that used to live down the street from me when I was growing up! Gotta love FB for providing the opportunity! Found out a few tid-bits about the old neighborhood, as she recently moved back into it! Like, my former next door neighbors... they still live there! Talk about a "Wow! Really?"
I had the opportunity to drive through my old neighborhood a few weeks ago... was sorta a sentimental trip...
A lot had changed, so much so that I hardly recognized it! Saw the house I grew up in... that was a trip! But the neighborhood, although familiar, was vastly different! For one thing, the houses were a lot closer together than I remember... but I was a bit younger... and a whole lot smaller way back when... Last weekend, my parents gave me two pictures. These two pictures were of me when I was very young and was living in the house that I previously mentioned.
A few years ago, this same house was up "For Sale," and vacant... I was able to walk around the property and into the backyard... posing as a prospective buyer...
Back then, it brought back a lot of memories as well. Tonight, it sorta came full circle.
It is somewhat strange that we have memories and pictures of previous parts of our lives, that we can recollect, see, and reminisce...
Tidbits, parts, and snapshots... a simpler time... an age of innocence... we were, of course, younger then...
But the purpose of my ramblings, is that although many things change, there are some things that never change! I guess that is the beauty of it all, that no matter what happens in one's life, there will always be something or someone that will always remain a constant! One may not know it, one may not even be aware of it, but it will always be there...
Waiting for a rediscovery or remembrance...
I had the opportunity to drive through my old neighborhood a few weeks ago... was sorta a sentimental trip...
A lot had changed, so much so that I hardly recognized it! Saw the house I grew up in... that was a trip! But the neighborhood, although familiar, was vastly different! For one thing, the houses were a lot closer together than I remember... but I was a bit younger... and a whole lot smaller way back when... Last weekend, my parents gave me two pictures. These two pictures were of me when I was very young and was living in the house that I previously mentioned.
A few years ago, this same house was up "For Sale," and vacant... I was able to walk around the property and into the backyard... posing as a prospective buyer...
Back then, it brought back a lot of memories as well. Tonight, it sorta came full circle.
It is somewhat strange that we have memories and pictures of previous parts of our lives, that we can recollect, see, and reminisce...
Tidbits, parts, and snapshots... a simpler time... an age of innocence... we were, of course, younger then...
But the purpose of my ramblings, is that although many things change, there are some things that never change! I guess that is the beauty of it all, that no matter what happens in one's life, there will always be something or someone that will always remain a constant! One may not know it, one may not even be aware of it, but it will always be there...
Waiting for a rediscovery or remembrance...
Friday, March 20, 2009
Anticipation
Today was a medium long day. In that, I mean that I went into work and circulated one, quick surgery. It started a little after 7:30am, we were done a little after 8:00am. I didn't leave work till after 12 noon!
I hung around to help get things ready for Monday... which will be another medium long day. Then I helped a friend run an errand... of course when we we were finished I learned that lunch was being provided (typical Friday event!) so I hung around doing little things that needed to be done until lunch arrived. Afterwards, since I was still hanging around, I got recruited to provide a lunch relief.
I have been house/dog sitting for two friends this past week. The friend whose house I was camping out at came home today. So after work, I went there to pack up, move out, clean, and take away two dogs before they got home! I then moved into the other friends house! I'll have to repeat this maneuver on Sunday, when my second friend returns, with the exception that I will only take away one dog, my Sadie girl.
Tomorrow, I am going down to Phoenix to spend the day with my daughters! It has been almost a month since I have seen them. We have an event filled day planned, although one of them gave me the run-down on what to wear/do/say/act so I don't embarrass them... teenagers!
I look forward to seeing my daughters. As a divorced father, with visitation issues, every moment is precious to me. Hopefully, soon I will be able to modify the visitation 'limitations' and get to see them more often, go more places, do more things with them!
So perhaps I'll share how my Saturday went. Or not.
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
I hung around to help get things ready for Monday... which will be another medium long day. Then I helped a friend run an errand... of course when we we were finished I learned that lunch was being provided (typical Friday event!) so I hung around doing little things that needed to be done until lunch arrived. Afterwards, since I was still hanging around, I got recruited to provide a lunch relief.
I have been house/dog sitting for two friends this past week. The friend whose house I was camping out at came home today. So after work, I went there to pack up, move out, clean, and take away two dogs before they got home! I then moved into the other friends house! I'll have to repeat this maneuver on Sunday, when my second friend returns, with the exception that I will only take away one dog, my Sadie girl.
Tomorrow, I am going down to Phoenix to spend the day with my daughters! It has been almost a month since I have seen them. We have an event filled day planned, although one of them gave me the run-down on what to wear/do/say/act so I don't embarrass them... teenagers!
I look forward to seeing my daughters. As a divorced father, with visitation issues, every moment is precious to me. Hopefully, soon I will be able to modify the visitation 'limitations' and get to see them more often, go more places, do more things with them!
So perhaps I'll share how my Saturday went. Or not.
I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Thursday, March 19, 2009
What a great day!
I almost had the day off today... until 9pm last night when I was asked to cover someone who couldn't go in today due to an injury. I didn't mind, I'd rather go to work and earn PTO than not work and take PTO! Besides, it was a way for me to help a fellow employee and friend!
While at work I had the opportunity to impact the lives of two patients! They were in our overnight stay, or Recovery Care, unit. One of the patients had a sub-talar fusion (big screw put through the calcaneous). He was in a lot of pain when I got there this morning. It took about 30 minutes for me to figure out the problem, and once I did, his pain level dropped from a "5" to a "1!" Needless to say he and his wife were very grateful! The other patient had a total hip arthroplasty (hip replacement). He was a bit depressed and feeling a bit claustrophobic, being inside for the past 3 days... I got him to step outside and walk a bit in the fresh air and added him to the "lunch list!" He got a catered lunch take-out from La Fonda, a local mexican restaurant! It made his day and he let all of his friends and family know what a great facility we were for taking such good care of him, especially ordering him mexican food for lunch! (Next time you're in the hospital... ask your nurse to order you some food from an outside restaurant, AND, ask them to pay for it! See what kind of response you get....)
But what really made this day a great day, was I worked with an awesome person! Brooke is an old friend, from my ED days! She is now a EMT/Tech at the facility where I work. She is a down to earth, no nonsense, kind of person! We work well together, especially when we are both racing each other to get something done, knowing that the other will probably get it done first, if we both don't jump on it!
Back to the lunch-list...
I also bought lunch for everyone today at work. In full disclosure, it was a skeleton crew... so I spent a lot less than our doc's do when they normally splurge for lunch on a Friday. However, it was an honor and a joy to do something for my fellow employees.
Adding one of my patient's to the lunch-list, and buying his lunch too, only added to it! You see, as a nurse, my job first and foremost, is to provide for the safety and security of my patients. That is a very broad statement, as the safety I provide is not only physical, but emotional, mental, spiritual, etc.
I made my patient's day, by providing a special lunch treat! What made it even better and more satisfying... he had absolutely no idea that it was me that bought him his lunch! I added to his mental and emotional well being. It was well worth the $7.00 I spent on his lunch...
So...
Here I am, winding down from a great day at work. The dogs are fed, I am fed, watching TV, reflecting on my day...
It was a great day!
While at work I had the opportunity to impact the lives of two patients! They were in our overnight stay, or Recovery Care, unit. One of the patients had a sub-talar fusion (big screw put through the calcaneous). He was in a lot of pain when I got there this morning. It took about 30 minutes for me to figure out the problem, and once I did, his pain level dropped from a "5" to a "1!" Needless to say he and his wife were very grateful! The other patient had a total hip arthroplasty (hip replacement). He was a bit depressed and feeling a bit claustrophobic, being inside for the past 3 days... I got him to step outside and walk a bit in the fresh air and added him to the "lunch list!" He got a catered lunch take-out from La Fonda, a local mexican restaurant! It made his day and he let all of his friends and family know what a great facility we were for taking such good care of him, especially ordering him mexican food for lunch! (Next time you're in the hospital... ask your nurse to order you some food from an outside restaurant, AND, ask them to pay for it! See what kind of response you get....)
But what really made this day a great day, was I worked with an awesome person! Brooke is an old friend, from my ED days! She is now a EMT/Tech at the facility where I work. She is a down to earth, no nonsense, kind of person! We work well together, especially when we are both racing each other to get something done, knowing that the other will probably get it done first, if we both don't jump on it!
Back to the lunch-list...
I also bought lunch for everyone today at work. In full disclosure, it was a skeleton crew... so I spent a lot less than our doc's do when they normally splurge for lunch on a Friday. However, it was an honor and a joy to do something for my fellow employees.
Adding one of my patient's to the lunch-list, and buying his lunch too, only added to it! You see, as a nurse, my job first and foremost, is to provide for the safety and security of my patients. That is a very broad statement, as the safety I provide is not only physical, but emotional, mental, spiritual, etc.
I made my patient's day, by providing a special lunch treat! What made it even better and more satisfying... he had absolutely no idea that it was me that bought him his lunch! I added to his mental and emotional well being. It was well worth the $7.00 I spent on his lunch...
So...
Here I am, winding down from a great day at work. The dogs are fed, I am fed, watching TV, reflecting on my day...
It was a great day!
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Karma and the Monte V...
Tonight I went out to dinner with some work friends. We had sushi at a place called Karma. It was nice, great service, not very crowded.
Afterwards, we went to a historic hotel here in Flagstaff, the Monte Vista (or Monte V to those in the know...) to listen to a local band. One of the band members is a "significant" person in the life of one of my co-workers...
While I sat there listening to the music, I had the opportunity to watch people.
Going to a bar, not drinking, and watching people can be a lot of fun!
I saw a large number of people that I knew. Most of which I worked with at one time or another. But it was sort of funny watching them interact with one another. You see, I was sort of tucked back into a dark corner... I think one person might of recognized me, but didn't initiate contact. I was blocked in by the seating arrangement, so I didn't get into the mix...
I ended up leaving early for two reasons. First, I need to go to work tomorrow and therefore need to get some sleep. Second, I ran into a friend that needed a ride home (enough said).
Not very exciting, nothing profound!
Happy St. Patty's Day!
Afterwards, we went to a historic hotel here in Flagstaff, the Monte Vista (or Monte V to those in the know...) to listen to a local band. One of the band members is a "significant" person in the life of one of my co-workers...
While I sat there listening to the music, I had the opportunity to watch people.
Going to a bar, not drinking, and watching people can be a lot of fun!
I saw a large number of people that I knew. Most of which I worked with at one time or another. But it was sort of funny watching them interact with one another. You see, I was sort of tucked back into a dark corner... I think one person might of recognized me, but didn't initiate contact. I was blocked in by the seating arrangement, so I didn't get into the mix...
I ended up leaving early for two reasons. First, I need to go to work tomorrow and therefore need to get some sleep. Second, I ran into a friend that needed a ride home (enough said).
Not very exciting, nothing profound!
Happy St. Patty's Day!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Friends
It has been a few days, for you that are following, I apologize!
Last night I had the opportunity to reconnect and spend time with a friend. At the time, it was where I needed to be, who I needed to be with.
Today, as a result of last night, I let down a great number of family, friends, and co-workers...
To those that were relying on me, to those that thought that they needed me, to those that were wondering where I was... I can only apologize. I am truly sorry!
However, things still happened. Things still progessed. Everything that needed to happen, happened. So, how important was I in the grand scheme of things?
I do not want to minimize the impact of my abscence... I know and fully appreciate the undue burden that I created. Yet each and every one of you, stepped up, covered, and got things done! Something I am proud of! You see... we are a team. We are there to provide a service and every now and then one of us falls... yet without even a moment of hesitation, others step up and in to cover, to get the job done!
I am honored.
I am embarresed.
I have been humbled.
The only thing I can say is, I am sorry.
Nothing I can do or say will make up for it, so...
I am sorry... please, I beg for your forgiveness...
Last night I had the opportunity to reconnect and spend time with a friend. At the time, it was where I needed to be, who I needed to be with.
Today, as a result of last night, I let down a great number of family, friends, and co-workers...
To those that were relying on me, to those that thought that they needed me, to those that were wondering where I was... I can only apologize. I am truly sorry!
However, things still happened. Things still progessed. Everything that needed to happen, happened. So, how important was I in the grand scheme of things?
I do not want to minimize the impact of my abscence... I know and fully appreciate the undue burden that I created. Yet each and every one of you, stepped up, covered, and got things done! Something I am proud of! You see... we are a team. We are there to provide a service and every now and then one of us falls... yet without even a moment of hesitation, others step up and in to cover, to get the job done!
I am honored.
I am embarresed.
I have been humbled.
The only thing I can say is, I am sorry.
Nothing I can do or say will make up for it, so...
I am sorry... please, I beg for your forgiveness...
Monday, March 09, 2009
Another Monday!
I had the day off today! That makes two in a row!
Tomorrow I have to go to work, but it will be a half day!
This morning, I took advantage of a well deserved day off and slept in! I awoke to my dog, Sadie, nudging me to remind me that she needed to go outside to take care of business! I was a little bewildered as it was overcast, just on the verge of needing sunglasses, yet it was freezing rain/light snow flurries! Nothing acumulated, no great photo ops...
I did go geocaching today. Only got one, but dropped off two TB (Travel Bugs). I also placed two new geocaches, and scoped out a few different areas for a series of geocaches that I am in the process of placing.
Late this evening I went over to a work friend's house. She and her husband are going to Costa Rica for 10 days! I will be stuck here in Flagstaff, so I agreed to house/dog sit for them. They have two little Chihuaha's... my Sadie will have a great time... I'm sure that the two of them will have a new attitude afterwards! Sadie, is an old girl... she is about 500% bigger than them... she doesn't take to much abuse... she will be in control!
Tomorrow I have to go to work, but it will be a half day!
This morning, I took advantage of a well deserved day off and slept in! I awoke to my dog, Sadie, nudging me to remind me that she needed to go outside to take care of business! I was a little bewildered as it was overcast, just on the verge of needing sunglasses, yet it was freezing rain/light snow flurries! Nothing acumulated, no great photo ops...
I did go geocaching today. Only got one, but dropped off two TB (Travel Bugs). I also placed two new geocaches, and scoped out a few different areas for a series of geocaches that I am in the process of placing.
Late this evening I went over to a work friend's house. She and her husband are going to Costa Rica for 10 days! I will be stuck here in Flagstaff, so I agreed to house/dog sit for them. They have two little Chihuaha's... my Sadie will have a great time... I'm sure that the two of them will have a new attitude afterwards! Sadie, is an old girl... she is about 500% bigger than them... she doesn't take to much abuse... she will be in control!
My foot is a bit sore... not actual pain, just an ache! Probably due to a bit too much walking/hiking/scrambling/climbing... over these past two days! It makes me realize that I need to do this more often! Luckily I have a hobby that encourages getting out and about!
To all of my friends, take care, I'm thinking about you!
Peace...
Sunday, March 08, 2009
A great day!
I went out to Williams, AZ this afternoon. Got to have lunch with and incredible person! I'm pretty sure that they probably don't want to read or hear anything more, so I'll stop right here!
Afterwards, I went Geocaching! In and around Williams, then here and there as I travelled back to Flagstaff!
It takes a little over 30 minutes to get from Flag to Williams & vice versa...
My return trip took almost 4 hours! Of course it was because I kept stopping every now and then, taking short hikes, hunting for that cache...
Afterwards, I went Geocaching! In and around Williams, then here and there as I travelled back to Flagstaff!
It takes a little over 30 minutes to get from Flag to Williams & vice versa...
My return trip took almost 4 hours! Of course it was because I kept stopping every now and then, taking short hikes, hunting for that cache...
And every now and then, I would see things that no one else would or could! That's one of the best things about Geocaching! It gets you out and into areas that the vast majority of people don't get to see!
I travelled down a road that ended up turning into the original, actual, old Route 66! The asphalt ended and suddenly I was on concrete! I was now travelling on a part of the American History! I parked and hiked into areas that hadn't seen another human being for at least 6 months! I saw wildlife, plants, birds, elk and deer! I even got up close and personal with a freight train!
Today was a rekindling... the first real day that I got myself out and about in a very long time! It was invigorating, fresh, real and great!
Saturday, March 07, 2009
My answer! (A long and drawn out one...)
I asked a number of my peers about the "Moral Dilemma." I even asked a few non-medical people how they would respond to the question...
No one, said "no," "never," "absolutely not."
A few put conditions on there answer.
The majority said probably or absolutely!
Absolutely = 50%
Probably = 41%
Conditionally = 9%
By the way, I got a 94% response rate, N=30.
So probably not a significant population sample... but it begs further research!
The conditional responses were regarding friends/family involved...
The probably responses all revolved around quality of life afterward issues...
The absolutely responses, were just that! Absolutely!
Many years ago, when I was first posed with this question, I was definately in the minority! I responded with conditions! As I matured in my profession, my viewpoint changed and I became a probably.
I have been involved in Pre-hospital/Emergency medicine for 23 years! (EMT, IEMT, Paramedic, Flight Paramedic, Emergency Nurse, Flight Nurse) My last 2 years, have been in outpatient surgical nursing.
I can't tell you when, that is, exactly the time or year when, my answer changed to probably... But it was after I was a Paramedic! I was trained in Tucson, AZ. At Tucson Medical Center, under the direction of Drs. Kent Carey, MD, and Richard Carmona, MD. That might raise a few eyebrows! Hopefully, at least one person might recognize at least one, if not both names named!
It was shortly there after, that I changed my answer again to absolutely!
One morning I was coming on shift as a Paramedic/Firefighter. I was going through the normal routine of the morning truck check, oxygen, supply and equipment check. I had just finished checking my drug box for outdates/expired drugs, and I had charged up my LP-5 monitor/defibrillator (yes, I know I am dating myself somewhat...) to check my defib settings. After I got a satisfactory discharge... I paused...
You see, I was still a fairly new Paramedic. It suddenly dawned on me that I was given the responsibility and accountability for other people's lives! I couldn't even legally drink alcohol, yet I was pushing narcotics and had electrical interventions available to me! Talk about a reality check!
Complete strangers were calling 911, I was responding, and they completely and utterly trusted me with their lives! And I couldn't even buy them a beer! Talk about a paradox!
I was trained and educated as a Paramedic in Tucson in the mid 80's. Paramedicine, that is pre-hospital medicine was still going through a lot of changes. Our program went "full-bore!" We learned everything that was allowed at the time! One of my Medical Directors mentioned something about we (as Paramedics) are the front line, first line... life and death decisions are made by us! No time to call for medical direction, you need to know what to do, how to do it, when to do it... and this is what stuck with me the most... and most importantly, when not to do it!
My viewpoint, philosophy, and answer changed!
One day, I was dispatched to a Chest Pain. Our response to a remote location South East of Tucson took over 30 minutes. Upon arrival at the scene, my EMT (and Paramedic student) partner and I found a mid-30 year old gentleman, experienceing chest pain. The symptoms were classic for an MI... substernal, crushing chest pain, diaphoresis, nausea... we hooked up our LP-5, he was talking to us appropriately... my partner started to take vitals...
I was turned away from him asking his wife about his history, medications and allergies... when my partner started yelling, "Relax! Put your arm down!"
I turned to face them, saw this gentleman with arms extended out, palms down, purple...
I glanced at the monitor and saw a lethal rhythm, V-Tach! At the time (again, I am dating myself...) I delivered a pre-cordial thump!
My partner looked at me and asked why I just "punched" the patient!
I replied, "Look at the monitor! V-Tach!"
To make a very long story short....
We initiated BLS and ACLS on this individual. Within 10 minutes, we were in the ambulance, on our way back into Tucson to the nearest hospital... which was 30 minutes away! I emptied my drug box into this person. I gave drugs not in the ACLS Algorhithm (in the 1980's...) just becuase! Perhaps he was a diabetic? D50! Perhaps it was an Addison's Crisis? Hydrocortisone! (Methylprednisolone [Solumedrol] was still a few year away...) Lidocaine! Bretylium (now I'm really dating myself!)! He remained in refractory V-fib/V-tach!
Today, it would probably more precisely described as Torsades de Pointes! We have at least two new drugs for that!
However, I poured myself out for this gentleman! I did everything and anything I could to attempt to save his life. Here I was a fairly new paramedic... the most opportune time to have a paramedic present was when you went into cardiac arrest! Arrest to ACLS time = ZERO (0) MINUTES! I gave drugs outside of the ACLS Guidelines... luckily, at the time, they were just that... guidelines....
I did everything and anything I could to save this life!
I wasn't worried about liabilities, I wasn't worried about certifications or licensures... I was worried that I wouldn't do what needed to be done, when it needed to be done! I was worried that my inaction, would lead to a persons demise... his death...
It was at that moment I became an "absolutely!"
It has been many years. In that time, I have been faced with many situation that have caused me to ask myself the same question!
I am proud to say that I have done what needed to be done, at the exact time that it needed to happen! Some say I am lucky that there was no dis-advantageous outcomes...
My answer is simply this...
That patient is alive today, because of what I/we (in the case of my peers/partners) did!
I have no regrets!
...
Absolutely, no regrets!
So my answer to my own question:
My purpose is to save lives. If I need to do something to save a life, I am the only one available to do it, and if I do it, I will lose my license... I don't care!
I saved a life! I sacrificed my own well being, my own security...
Someone lived! That is more than ample payment!
No one, said "no," "never," "absolutely not."
A few put conditions on there answer.
The majority said probably or absolutely!
Absolutely = 50%
Probably = 41%
Conditionally = 9%
By the way, I got a 94% response rate, N=30.
So probably not a significant population sample... but it begs further research!
The conditional responses were regarding friends/family involved...
The probably responses all revolved around quality of life afterward issues...
The absolutely responses, were just that! Absolutely!
Many years ago, when I was first posed with this question, I was definately in the minority! I responded with conditions! As I matured in my profession, my viewpoint changed and I became a probably.
I have been involved in Pre-hospital/Emergency medicine for 23 years! (EMT, IEMT, Paramedic, Flight Paramedic, Emergency Nurse, Flight Nurse) My last 2 years, have been in outpatient surgical nursing.
I can't tell you when, that is, exactly the time or year when, my answer changed to probably... But it was after I was a Paramedic! I was trained in Tucson, AZ. At Tucson Medical Center, under the direction of Drs. Kent Carey, MD, and Richard Carmona, MD. That might raise a few eyebrows! Hopefully, at least one person might recognize at least one, if not both names named!
It was shortly there after, that I changed my answer again to absolutely!
One morning I was coming on shift as a Paramedic/Firefighter. I was going through the normal routine of the morning truck check, oxygen, supply and equipment check. I had just finished checking my drug box for outdates/expired drugs, and I had charged up my LP-5 monitor/defibrillator (yes, I know I am dating myself somewhat...) to check my defib settings. After I got a satisfactory discharge... I paused...
You see, I was still a fairly new Paramedic. It suddenly dawned on me that I was given the responsibility and accountability for other people's lives! I couldn't even legally drink alcohol, yet I was pushing narcotics and had electrical interventions available to me! Talk about a reality check!
Complete strangers were calling 911, I was responding, and they completely and utterly trusted me with their lives! And I couldn't even buy them a beer! Talk about a paradox!
I was trained and educated as a Paramedic in Tucson in the mid 80's. Paramedicine, that is pre-hospital medicine was still going through a lot of changes. Our program went "full-bore!" We learned everything that was allowed at the time! One of my Medical Directors mentioned something about we (as Paramedics) are the front line, first line... life and death decisions are made by us! No time to call for medical direction, you need to know what to do, how to do it, when to do it... and this is what stuck with me the most... and most importantly, when not to do it!
My viewpoint, philosophy, and answer changed!
One day, I was dispatched to a Chest Pain. Our response to a remote location South East of Tucson took over 30 minutes. Upon arrival at the scene, my EMT (and Paramedic student) partner and I found a mid-30 year old gentleman, experienceing chest pain. The symptoms were classic for an MI... substernal, crushing chest pain, diaphoresis, nausea... we hooked up our LP-5, he was talking to us appropriately... my partner started to take vitals...
I was turned away from him asking his wife about his history, medications and allergies... when my partner started yelling, "Relax! Put your arm down!"
I turned to face them, saw this gentleman with arms extended out, palms down, purple...
I glanced at the monitor and saw a lethal rhythm, V-Tach! At the time (again, I am dating myself...) I delivered a pre-cordial thump!
My partner looked at me and asked why I just "punched" the patient!
I replied, "Look at the monitor! V-Tach!"
To make a very long story short....
We initiated BLS and ACLS on this individual. Within 10 minutes, we were in the ambulance, on our way back into Tucson to the nearest hospital... which was 30 minutes away! I emptied my drug box into this person. I gave drugs not in the ACLS Algorhithm (in the 1980's...) just becuase! Perhaps he was a diabetic? D50! Perhaps it was an Addison's Crisis? Hydrocortisone! (Methylprednisolone [Solumedrol] was still a few year away...) Lidocaine! Bretylium (now I'm really dating myself!)! He remained in refractory V-fib/V-tach!
Today, it would probably more precisely described as Torsades de Pointes! We have at least two new drugs for that!
However, I poured myself out for this gentleman! I did everything and anything I could to attempt to save his life. Here I was a fairly new paramedic... the most opportune time to have a paramedic present was when you went into cardiac arrest! Arrest to ACLS time = ZERO (0) MINUTES! I gave drugs outside of the ACLS Guidelines... luckily, at the time, they were just that... guidelines....
I did everything and anything I could to save this life!
I wasn't worried about liabilities, I wasn't worried about certifications or licensures... I was worried that I wouldn't do what needed to be done, when it needed to be done! I was worried that my inaction, would lead to a persons demise... his death...
It was at that moment I became an "absolutely!"
It has been many years. In that time, I have been faced with many situation that have caused me to ask myself the same question!
I am proud to say that I have done what needed to be done, at the exact time that it needed to happen! Some say I am lucky that there was no dis-advantageous outcomes...
My answer is simply this...
That patient is alive today, because of what I/we (in the case of my peers/partners) did!
I have no regrets!
...
Absolutely, no regrets!
So my answer to my own question:
My purpose is to save lives. If I need to do something to save a life, I am the only one available to do it, and if I do it, I will lose my license... I don't care!
I saved a life! I sacrificed my own well being, my own security...
Someone lived! That is more than ample payment!
Wednesday, March 04, 2009
A Moral Dilemma...
A few days ago, I posed a question that was a moral dilemma...
You were asked to do something to save a life, if you did it, you would never be able to help another person ever again. If you didn't do it, the person would die. Here's the actual question/situation from my blog:
I emailed/messaged several people this question. Obviously, the
responses are biased as the majority of the people I sent this question to are
in the healthcare field... but then again, they are the one's most likely to
encounter this situation! Here's the question posed to them:
You were asked to do something to save a life, if you did it, you would never be able to help another person ever again. If you didn't do it, the person would die. Here's the actual question/situation from my blog:
"A long time ago, I was part of a group that was asked a "what if" question,
regarding something that needed to be done, that we were not authorized to do.
If we didn't do what needed to be done, the patient would die. If we did what
needed to be done, the patient would live, but we would lose our license and
ability to practice.
Before I tell you my answer, how would you answer this question or respond
to the dilemma? Would you do something to save one individual life, never to be
able to help another person; or would you not act, knowing that you would be
able to influence and affect, potentially saving many more lives in the
future?
Yes, a moral dilemma!"
I emailed/messaged several people this question. Obviously, the
responses are biased as the majority of the people I sent this question to are
in the healthcare field... but then again, they are the one's most likely to
encounter this situation! Here's the question posed to them:
So... I'm reviewing the responses and will give a summary of them in a day or two. Then I will tell you my answer!"A hypothetical question...
You have been asked to do something in order to save a life. If you don't do it your patient will surely die! You know how to do it, you are capable of doing it, and you can accomplish it safely.
However, it is not within your Scope of Practice and if you do it, you will lose your license. You will never be able to help another patient again. What do you do?
I appreciate a reply, even if it's "I won't answer!"
Tuesday, March 03, 2009
The Case/Surgery went well!
Today was a good day!
Everything went well, my friend's husband was well cared for, the outcome was good!
However, my foot/toe was screaming at me by the end of the day! I was in pain, and several of my co-workers noticed that I was "limping" by the end of the day....
A small sacrifice! Yes, I probably pushed myself a little too far, but it was not about me! It was about a friend's husband, my patient, and another person, a husband as well, also my patient!
Two cases today, about 7 hours on my feet. Moving, grooving, working, circulating!
I love it!
To my co-workers... Thank you! I am truly honored that all of you notice, are aware, and more importantly, are concerned about my well being! Thank you!
To my patient's... Thank you! You are at your most vulnerable state, and you have allowed me to be your nurse, your advocate, your protector, and your champion!
Be well.. Heal well...
Know that I am thinking about all of you!
Everything went well, my friend's husband was well cared for, the outcome was good!
However, my foot/toe was screaming at me by the end of the day! I was in pain, and several of my co-workers noticed that I was "limping" by the end of the day....
A small sacrifice! Yes, I probably pushed myself a little too far, but it was not about me! It was about a friend's husband, my patient, and another person, a husband as well, also my patient!
Two cases today, about 7 hours on my feet. Moving, grooving, working, circulating!
I love it!
To my co-workers... Thank you! I am truly honored that all of you notice, are aware, and more importantly, are concerned about my well being! Thank you!
To my patient's... Thank you! You are at your most vulnerable state, and you have allowed me to be your nurse, your advocate, your protector, and your champion!
Be well.. Heal well...
Know that I am thinking about all of you!
Monday, March 02, 2009
It's Monday!
The first day of the work week and I am already exhausted! Went to work today, a full eight hours I might add! And yes, my foot/toe is reminding me of that!
There was only one OR today, with a really great surgeon! But like most, he is a bit eccentric!?!? That is probably a good word to describe him! Don't get me wrong, I would let him operate on me for anything orthopedic in nature, as he is an truly great Surgeon. I have full faith and confidence in his abilities.
Yet as only a fellow nurse could comprehend... he has his quarks!
Tomorrow, I have been honored to Circulate a specific case! A fellow employee has asked me to be the Circulating Nurse for their husband, who will be having a complex surgery involving a total joint replacement! For those that may not understand, any surgery has risks and benefits. A lot of the risks are dependent on the Circulating OR Nurse... from the set-up, the pre-op, the skin prep, to the ongoing vigilance during the case... the Circulating Nurse has a lot of responsibilities, but also has a great accountability to insure that the case progresses safely! The Circulating Nurse has the ability and authority to stop a Surgeon, question a decision, make the final call on a breech of asepsis, and much, much more!
For an individual to request me as a specific person that they want to care for and be an advocate for their loved one, is an honor and a privilege to say the least! I will treat their loved one as I treat each and everyone of my patients! With the utmost respect, care, concern, and vigilance that I can muster!
This may be their husband, whom they love, honor and cherish... but, this is my patient! Who will be helpless and totally reliant on me for their safety and survival!
Which brings up another memory...
A long time ago, I was part of a group that was asked a "what if" question, regarding something that needed to be done, that we were not authorized to do. If we didn't do what needed to be done, the patient would die. If we did what needed to be done, the patient would live, but we would lose our license and ability to practice.
Before I tell you my answer, how would you answer this question or respond to the dilemma? Would you do something to save one individual life, never to be able to help another person; or would you not act, knowing that you would be able to influence and affect, potentially saving many more lives in the future?
Yes, a moral dilemma!
Think about it... I'll tell you how I responded later!
There was only one OR today, with a really great surgeon! But like most, he is a bit eccentric!?!? That is probably a good word to describe him! Don't get me wrong, I would let him operate on me for anything orthopedic in nature, as he is an truly great Surgeon. I have full faith and confidence in his abilities.
Yet as only a fellow nurse could comprehend... he has his quarks!
Tomorrow, I have been honored to Circulate a specific case! A fellow employee has asked me to be the Circulating Nurse for their husband, who will be having a complex surgery involving a total joint replacement! For those that may not understand, any surgery has risks and benefits. A lot of the risks are dependent on the Circulating OR Nurse... from the set-up, the pre-op, the skin prep, to the ongoing vigilance during the case... the Circulating Nurse has a lot of responsibilities, but also has a great accountability to insure that the case progresses safely! The Circulating Nurse has the ability and authority to stop a Surgeon, question a decision, make the final call on a breech of asepsis, and much, much more!
For an individual to request me as a specific person that they want to care for and be an advocate for their loved one, is an honor and a privilege to say the least! I will treat their loved one as I treat each and everyone of my patients! With the utmost respect, care, concern, and vigilance that I can muster!
This may be their husband, whom they love, honor and cherish... but, this is my patient! Who will be helpless and totally reliant on me for their safety and survival!
Which brings up another memory...
A long time ago, I was part of a group that was asked a "what if" question, regarding something that needed to be done, that we were not authorized to do. If we didn't do what needed to be done, the patient would die. If we did what needed to be done, the patient would live, but we would lose our license and ability to practice.
Before I tell you my answer, how would you answer this question or respond to the dilemma? Would you do something to save one individual life, never to be able to help another person; or would you not act, knowing that you would be able to influence and affect, potentially saving many more lives in the future?
Yes, a moral dilemma!
Think about it... I'll tell you how I responded later!
Saturday, February 28, 2009
A full day!
I spent a full day in a class today... two words come to mind, information and overload!
I am taking a preparation class/certification review class for CAPA. Certified Ambulatory Peri Anesthesia... I can also opt to take the CPAN instead. Certified Post Anesthesia Nurse...
Hemodynamics, acid-base, peri-anesthiesia, hematology, ACLS, fluid management, etc. etc. etc.
Now what makes this different from my last Critical Care Course, is that we are cramming a lot of information into a single day, that would normally be covered over a week! Seven Saturdays, that would normally take 2 months! Arrgggh!
It is a lot of information to cover, review, self-study, and self-test!
So, I am sacrificing my time... and a significant amount of brain power... to get through something!
Why!?
Well, on the surface, one might be able to claim a selfish reason... I can add another letter, or four, after my name, my resume will be padded, and potentially my employer or future employer will consider this certification when determining my pay-grade!
A deeper reason... it will make me a better nurse!
My knowledge base has been expanded, enhanced, and challenged! I have learned some things that I wil be able to apply to my practice, that will help others.
That is the bottom line.
I am sacrificing my time and self, in order to be able to serve others at a higher level!
I'm tired, actually exhausted! Time for a well needed and deserved rest!
By the way, my foot/toe is doing much better!
I can now wear a regular shoe/boot, as the swelling has gone down. The colors I am seeing are quite remarkable, as is the extent of the coverage! I am still heel/flat foot walking... which means a bit of a limp. Otherwise, I am going back to regular duties next week!
Take care!
I am taking a preparation class/certification review class for CAPA. Certified Ambulatory Peri Anesthesia... I can also opt to take the CPAN instead. Certified Post Anesthesia Nurse...
Hemodynamics, acid-base, peri-anesthiesia, hematology, ACLS, fluid management, etc. etc. etc.
Now what makes this different from my last Critical Care Course, is that we are cramming a lot of information into a single day, that would normally be covered over a week! Seven Saturdays, that would normally take 2 months! Arrgggh!
It is a lot of information to cover, review, self-study, and self-test!
So, I am sacrificing my time... and a significant amount of brain power... to get through something!
Why!?
Well, on the surface, one might be able to claim a selfish reason... I can add another letter, or four, after my name, my resume will be padded, and potentially my employer or future employer will consider this certification when determining my pay-grade!
A deeper reason... it will make me a better nurse!
My knowledge base has been expanded, enhanced, and challenged! I have learned some things that I wil be able to apply to my practice, that will help others.
That is the bottom line.
I am sacrificing my time and self, in order to be able to serve others at a higher level!
I'm tired, actually exhausted! Time for a well needed and deserved rest!
By the way, my foot/toe is doing much better!
I can now wear a regular shoe/boot, as the swelling has gone down. The colors I am seeing are quite remarkable, as is the extent of the coverage! I am still heel/flat foot walking... which means a bit of a limp. Otherwise, I am going back to regular duties next week!
Take care!
Friday, February 27, 2009
Relationships
I have been married... and divorced... twice. Not something to be proud of...
In each marriage, I loved my spouse. In a way, I still love each of them. In both cases, there was something that attracted us to each other, bonded us together, and caused us to enter into a relationship. Some may find it strange that I can still say that I love each of my ex-wives. Understand though, that the love I feel for them is not a romantic type of love. It is more of a nuturing, caring, Christian type of love.
So, someone asked me the other day when I was going to start getting out, start dating again.
The question took me by surprise. Don't misunderstand... several of my friends have suggested people I should meet, invited me to attend events that their "friend" will be at, etc. But the question was so straight forward and direct.
Now, everybody has heard of rebound relationships. When is a relationship a "rebound" vs. not? Is it a matter of time? Is it a matter of awareness of self? Is it a matter of readiness? What are the criteria?
I have heard several figures as to the time needed to heal and be ready for a relationship following a divorce. The one that keeps coming up is 1 year of "singleness" for every 4 years of "marriage." But this is only a guideline. There are a lot of issues that need to be dealt with before someone considers entering into a new relationship.
One of the best determinants I have heard is, "When you are comfortable with yourself, comfortable being single, not needing to be involved in a relationship to define yourself, then, and only then, are you ready for a relationship."
The point is, there is no hard and fast rule.
Too often, people get involved in relationships before they are ready... this would be a "rebound."
My suggestion is to surround yourself with friends. If your a guy, go play some basketball with other guys, have a beer together, go fishing! If your a gal, go play some basketball with other gals, have a beer together, go fishing! The gist is to make same-sex friends first. Find someone that you can talk to and share with, that won't judge you. Gals, this is where you definately have an advantage over us guys!
So to answer the question...
I'm not looking. It will happen when it happens!
In each marriage, I loved my spouse. In a way, I still love each of them. In both cases, there was something that attracted us to each other, bonded us together, and caused us to enter into a relationship. Some may find it strange that I can still say that I love each of my ex-wives. Understand though, that the love I feel for them is not a romantic type of love. It is more of a nuturing, caring, Christian type of love.
So, someone asked me the other day when I was going to start getting out, start dating again.
The question took me by surprise. Don't misunderstand... several of my friends have suggested people I should meet, invited me to attend events that their "friend" will be at, etc. But the question was so straight forward and direct.
Now, everybody has heard of rebound relationships. When is a relationship a "rebound" vs. not? Is it a matter of time? Is it a matter of awareness of self? Is it a matter of readiness? What are the criteria?
I have heard several figures as to the time needed to heal and be ready for a relationship following a divorce. The one that keeps coming up is 1 year of "singleness" for every 4 years of "marriage." But this is only a guideline. There are a lot of issues that need to be dealt with before someone considers entering into a new relationship.
One of the best determinants I have heard is, "When you are comfortable with yourself, comfortable being single, not needing to be involved in a relationship to define yourself, then, and only then, are you ready for a relationship."
The point is, there is no hard and fast rule.
Too often, people get involved in relationships before they are ready... this would be a "rebound."
My suggestion is to surround yourself with friends. If your a guy, go play some basketball with other guys, have a beer together, go fishing! If your a gal, go play some basketball with other gals, have a beer together, go fishing! The gist is to make same-sex friends first. Find someone that you can talk to and share with, that won't judge you. Gals, this is where you definately have an advantage over us guys!
So to answer the question...
I'm not looking. It will happen when it happens!
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Life... existence vs. living!
As I was leaving work today, I saw a flash of red and white to my left that had no business being there. It caused me to stop my Jeep and take a second look.
What I saw was a small little head sticking out of a hole in a tree. It was more than likely an Acorn Woodpecker chick, but not seeing the full body/back, I couldn't tell for sure. Blood red, snow white, and a black so deep and rich... set against the browns, greys, and yellows of the Pinon Pine Tree...
I needed to be there... I needed to see this!
Luckily, I had my camera with me and was able to take a picture. Eventually I will try to upload it to this post. (UPDATE: Picture uploaded 03/05/09)
What I saw was a small little head sticking out of a hole in a tree. It was more than likely an Acorn Woodpecker chick, but not seeing the full body/back, I couldn't tell for sure. Blood red, snow white, and a black so deep and rich... set against the browns, greys, and yellows of the Pinon Pine Tree...
I needed to be there... I needed to see this!
Luckily, I had my camera with me and was able to take a picture. Eventually I will try to upload it to this post. (UPDATE: Picture uploaded 03/05/09)
I sat there, in my car, window down, camera in hand for several minutes. All I was thinking about was the simplicity of the situation. Something so bold and striking, set against something fairly common and actually drab...
It was the perfect metaphor for life!
Each of us, every single being... we are all unique... individual... different... yet, we are all interacting and existing in something that is common to all of us. In each of us, there is something special and eye-catching... yet more often than not, the majority of people just see the drab surroundings around us, barely noticing...
What about that? How many people just go about there business, not seeing? Not experiencing? Not living... just existing?
Existence, in my opinion and from personnal experience, is an excuse for avoiding life!
Life is meant to be lived. Yes, it can be painful sometimes! But the pain one feels is minor compared to the joy and elation one feels when they actually live their life!
I have experienced pain. My pain has been physical, emotional, and spiritual. But this pain has helped to remind me that I am human, and that I am alive! The secret to getting through the pain is to just experience it, trust in others, and have a little faith!
Your body responds to pain (and other situations) with a "flight or fight" response. Medically speaking, your sympathetic nervous system kicks on and it gets you through it. Eventually, the adrenaline wears off, the endorphins (the body's natural pain killers) wear off, and one begins to feel real, actual pain. This is when friends become important!
Friends support you, they care about and for you, they are there for you and provide for you. They help you, they ask about you, they check on you. You have to trust them! You are disabled in someway, and you need to rely on them in someway.
So for those that are in a particular place right now...
Have faith! There are people in this world that love you and care for you! There are people that are concerned and are willing to help. There are people that will tend to your wounds, listen to you, hold your hand, and just be there for you!
It's ultimately your choice...
You have to let them in...
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Prior to my little incident last week... Flagstaff got a little snow over the weekend. I came home and as I was walking up to my apartment, I saw a neighbor walking out to their car with a small ice scrapper and a broom. I paused, watching to see which car they went to. Needless to say, their car was "snowed in." The ice scrapper and broom was not going to be enough to free the car. There was a 2 to 3 foot burm behind the car from the plow, that their front-wheel-drive vehicle was not going to be able to break through...
I went into my apartment, told Sadie to wait, and grabbed my snow shovel. I went back out to help my neighbor. I broke down the burm, shoveled out the wheels (front, back, and in between) and made a path to the driver's side door. It took me about 20 minutes. My neighbor thanked me. I told them, "no problem, any time you need help, just knock on my door." They haven't taken me up on the offer yet, but then again... it hasn't significantly snowed again... yet...
A small, random act of kindness... or was it a big, essential intervention? How did my action affect my neighbor? Did it get them through? Did it make their day? Perhaps they thought that they got a poor sap to help them? To me, it doesn't matter! I did what I needed to do, at the time that I needed to do it! Remember, I seem to be in certain places, at certain times, for certain reasons...
So ... that was almost a week and a half ago. A lot has transpired since then! I was injured at work, I survived a short week at work, I spent a full day in a class on Saturday, went down to Phoenix to spend a day with my daughters, and now I'm back at work...
More importantly, I read a book that a friend gave to me! She gave it to me some time ago, and I am ashamed to say, I finally read it... however, I am proud to say that once I picked it up, I couldn't put it down!
Cover to cover! I read it in less than 24 hours! I laughed, I cried, snickered, laughed, and cried some more!
So to all of you who are following this blog, those that might happen upon it, and to those that accidently click on something that brings you here...I love you! It is in the relationships that we create, nuture, and grow that ultimately matters!
I went into my apartment, told Sadie to wait, and grabbed my snow shovel. I went back out to help my neighbor. I broke down the burm, shoveled out the wheels (front, back, and in between) and made a path to the driver's side door. It took me about 20 minutes. My neighbor thanked me. I told them, "no problem, any time you need help, just knock on my door." They haven't taken me up on the offer yet, but then again... it hasn't significantly snowed again... yet...
A small, random act of kindness... or was it a big, essential intervention? How did my action affect my neighbor? Did it get them through? Did it make their day? Perhaps they thought that they got a poor sap to help them? To me, it doesn't matter! I did what I needed to do, at the time that I needed to do it! Remember, I seem to be in certain places, at certain times, for certain reasons...
So ... that was almost a week and a half ago. A lot has transpired since then! I was injured at work, I survived a short week at work, I spent a full day in a class on Saturday, went down to Phoenix to spend a day with my daughters, and now I'm back at work...
More importantly, I read a book that a friend gave to me! She gave it to me some time ago, and I am ashamed to say, I finally read it... however, I am proud to say that once I picked it up, I couldn't put it down!
Cover to cover! I read it in less than 24 hours! I laughed, I cried, snickered, laughed, and cried some more!
So to all of you who are following this blog, those that might happen upon it, and to those that accidently click on something that brings you here...I love you! It is in the relationships that we create, nuture, and grow that ultimately matters!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
I went to work today. Almost a full 8 hours. I tried to limit my activity... I tried to keep my foot elevated... I took Ibuprofen...
I tried... but when I got home this evening my foot was throbbing, it was bleeding again, and I could hardly get my dog Sadie out for her evening constitutional!
Needless to say, I ate some dinner, took a Lortab, elevated my foot, and packed it in snow. Yes, snow! You see, I still have between 2 or 3 feet of that white fluffy stuff right outside my door. It's better than crushed ice! It is very cold, very light, and easily formable/moldable around odd shaped parts!
Tomorrow, I am going to work again. But it will be a short day, I will be more diligent about elevation, and I will be sure to use some ice!
I had an interesting reception at work today. Of course I had to go through the typical ribbing, jokes, and comments about milking the system... but I also had several people continuously say they were sorry, almost everytime I ran into them. This made me wonder why?
Why were they sorry? They weren't involved, they weren't there, they couldn't have done anything to prevent or lessen the outcome. Why were they sorry?
Was it compassion? Was it empathy? Sympathy? Better you than me (that is, There by the Grace of God go I...)?
After I had told the story and gave an update on my status for about the 10th time, I finally got it!
These were my friends and they were concerned. For most it was compassion for a fellow co-worker, a friend that was injured. For some it was sympathy. And for one or two it was empathy as they too had been injured at work... not necessarily in the same way, but none the less.
This made me proud and humbled at the same time! Here were people that were expressing their concern and love for me in each of their own ways. I am part of a team at work. My absence for a couple of days was felt.
I am proud to be associated with such a fine group of people! I am humbled that they consider me an important part of the team!
So, to:
Amy, Dr. Cashmore, Dr. Knecht, Suzie, Martha, Sharon, Shar, Tracey, Liz, Jim, Chris, Dr. Norris, Garret, AnneMarie, Katy, Karen, Laurie, Tubby, Inez, Norma, Dr. Mellinger, Dr. Bonatus, Jen, Shannon, Neva, Nicole, and everyone else...
Thank you!
I tried... but when I got home this evening my foot was throbbing, it was bleeding again, and I could hardly get my dog Sadie out for her evening constitutional!
Needless to say, I ate some dinner, took a Lortab, elevated my foot, and packed it in snow. Yes, snow! You see, I still have between 2 or 3 feet of that white fluffy stuff right outside my door. It's better than crushed ice! It is very cold, very light, and easily formable/moldable around odd shaped parts!
Tomorrow, I am going to work again. But it will be a short day, I will be more diligent about elevation, and I will be sure to use some ice!
I had an interesting reception at work today. Of course I had to go through the typical ribbing, jokes, and comments about milking the system... but I also had several people continuously say they were sorry, almost everytime I ran into them. This made me wonder why?
Why were they sorry? They weren't involved, they weren't there, they couldn't have done anything to prevent or lessen the outcome. Why were they sorry?
Was it compassion? Was it empathy? Sympathy? Better you than me (that is, There by the Grace of God go I...)?
After I had told the story and gave an update on my status for about the 10th time, I finally got it!
These were my friends and they were concerned. For most it was compassion for a fellow co-worker, a friend that was injured. For some it was sympathy. And for one or two it was empathy as they too had been injured at work... not necessarily in the same way, but none the less.
This made me proud and humbled at the same time! Here were people that were expressing their concern and love for me in each of their own ways. I am part of a team at work. My absence for a couple of days was felt.
I am proud to be associated with such a fine group of people! I am humbled that they consider me an important part of the team!
So, to:
Amy, Dr. Cashmore, Dr. Knecht, Suzie, Martha, Sharon, Shar, Tracey, Liz, Jim, Chris, Dr. Norris, Garret, AnneMarie, Katy, Karen, Laurie, Tubby, Inez, Norma, Dr. Mellinger, Dr. Bonatus, Jen, Shannon, Neva, Nicole, and everyone else...
Thank you!
Monday, February 16, 2009
Pain...
Today, I felt real, physical, excruciating pain. While at work, a 500lb Operating Room Table, rolled over my foot. Miraculously... I did not swear out loud! I calmly, but rather urgently, left the area to go get some ice.
As I sat on a couch with my foot up on a chair, packed in ice, being attended to by a fellow employee... the pain finally hit me. You see, my sympathetic response had run it's course... no more fight or flight... the adrenaline was wearing off, the endorphins had been burned through... I finally swore out loud!
After an impromptu look by a surgeon who just happened to be passing by... I ended up getting a more formal exam and x-rays. There is a fracture, some soft-tissue crushing injury, and I'm going to lose a toe-nail! Hopefully, the bleeding was from the avulsed toe-nail, and doesn't penetrate through the soft tissue down to the bone.
I now have a walking boot, and two scripts for an antibiotic and pain medicine! I have my foot elevated, iced, and am enjoying the effects of Lortab!
The pain I felt today, was intense... but surprisingly manageable. I find it interesting that such a trauma can occur and that the human body can withstand, persevere, and adapt!
If only all trauma, physical, emotional, and spiritual, could be handled that way! Perhaps it can, and I've already mentioned the secret...
You see, initially, there was nothing I could do or not do to immediately affect my situation. It was a natural response by my body to get me through and into a safe place. When my own defenses wore off, I had a friend to help me. This friend helped me with immediate first aid and then getting me to more definitive help. Then even more friends helped me by calling in prescriptions so I wouldn't have to wait long, offering me a ride home, and willing to check on me and bring me food, walk my dog, etc.
As we go through life, there are things that happen that we can not control. We respond to these things in a purely survival oriented manner. Afterwards, we need friends to help restore us.
My foot will hurt for awhile. But the help that I received today, will always be remembered!
It's time for more pain medicine... talk to you in a few days! ;)
As I sat on a couch with my foot up on a chair, packed in ice, being attended to by a fellow employee... the pain finally hit me. You see, my sympathetic response had run it's course... no more fight or flight... the adrenaline was wearing off, the endorphins had been burned through... I finally swore out loud!
After an impromptu look by a surgeon who just happened to be passing by... I ended up getting a more formal exam and x-rays. There is a fracture, some soft-tissue crushing injury, and I'm going to lose a toe-nail! Hopefully, the bleeding was from the avulsed toe-nail, and doesn't penetrate through the soft tissue down to the bone.
I now have a walking boot, and two scripts for an antibiotic and pain medicine! I have my foot elevated, iced, and am enjoying the effects of Lortab!
The pain I felt today, was intense... but surprisingly manageable. I find it interesting that such a trauma can occur and that the human body can withstand, persevere, and adapt!
If only all trauma, physical, emotional, and spiritual, could be handled that way! Perhaps it can, and I've already mentioned the secret...
You see, initially, there was nothing I could do or not do to immediately affect my situation. It was a natural response by my body to get me through and into a safe place. When my own defenses wore off, I had a friend to help me. This friend helped me with immediate first aid and then getting me to more definitive help. Then even more friends helped me by calling in prescriptions so I wouldn't have to wait long, offering me a ride home, and willing to check on me and bring me food, walk my dog, etc.
As we go through life, there are things that happen that we can not control. We respond to these things in a purely survival oriented manner. Afterwards, we need friends to help restore us.
My foot will hurt for awhile. But the help that I received today, will always be remembered!
It's time for more pain medicine... talk to you in a few days! ;)
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Lonliness...
The past few days, my dog, companion, and best friend, Sadie has been ailing...
Sadie is a Black Lab/Daschuand mix (don't ask... only realize that there was probably a box involved somewhere)!
I've had Sadie for many years. She is 12 - 13 years old, with the typical Lab greying on her snout... she is a very good girl! As mentioned before, also a good friend and companion.
She is the kind of dog that always wants to be where you are. If I get up and go into the kitchen, she is there (probably hoping for a milkbone or dropped food), if I go into the bedroom, she is there (probably hoping to be invited up onto the bed), if I go into the bathroom, she is there (why? I'm not sure, other than it's because I'm in there....)
When I go outside, I have to tell her to stay and that I'll be back; otherwise, she expects that I will take her with me! However, when I come home... she is right there, excited, and seemingly thankful for my return!
Does she ever get lonely? That is a question I have often asked myself. Being alone is one thing, but being lonely is another. I don't think Sadie is lonely! She is with me almost 16 hours a day! We are together, we go for walks, we play...
But she is left alone sometimes... well behaved and house trained too (which probably explains why she is so happy and excited to see me when I do come home ;) ....)
But what about me?
I live alone, except for Sadie, but am I lonely?
I must admit, I do sometimes feel lonely. It's a weekend, I have no plans, and I have nothing to do, nowhere to be, no events... That's when being alone can start to become lonely!
I have many friends between my work and Church. Trying to balance invitations with beliefs and committments though, has often been trying! I could be very socially active and not alone most of the time! However, for this time in my life I choose to be alone. I enforce aloneness upon myself. But for the most part, I am not lonely! I have many activities, many friends, many outlets... and a dog!
So, Sadie has not been eating as much lately, she has been sleeping a lot, limping a bit when we go for walks...
She's an old dog. It makes me worry and think that she will not be around forever. Her leaving me, makes me sad. It brings up emotions and feelings that I might truly be alone...
At the same time, I am thankful for the time we had together! She has taught me so many things! First and foremost, it's not all about me! There are others in this world that need my attention and care. Sometimes that means self-sacrifice, but none-the-less, the rewards are far greater than the costs! Second, unconditional love is a precious thing! There are, by my experience, five things in this life that provide unconditional love! I have been honored and privaleged to experience four of them! Third, there is a difference between being alone and being lonely! Think for a moment about how much time you spend alone. In the bathroom, in a car, in an elevator, an office, in a line, etc. You may be alone, but there are others around you! People in a similiar or nearly same state as you! You can choose to be lonely...
Reach out...
Sadie is a Black Lab/Daschuand mix (don't ask... only realize that there was probably a box involved somewhere)!
I've had Sadie for many years. She is 12 - 13 years old, with the typical Lab greying on her snout... she is a very good girl! As mentioned before, also a good friend and companion.
She is the kind of dog that always wants to be where you are. If I get up and go into the kitchen, she is there (probably hoping for a milkbone or dropped food), if I go into the bedroom, she is there (probably hoping to be invited up onto the bed), if I go into the bathroom, she is there (why? I'm not sure, other than it's because I'm in there....)
When I go outside, I have to tell her to stay and that I'll be back; otherwise, she expects that I will take her with me! However, when I come home... she is right there, excited, and seemingly thankful for my return!
Does she ever get lonely? That is a question I have often asked myself. Being alone is one thing, but being lonely is another. I don't think Sadie is lonely! She is with me almost 16 hours a day! We are together, we go for walks, we play...
But she is left alone sometimes... well behaved and house trained too (which probably explains why she is so happy and excited to see me when I do come home ;) ....)
But what about me?
I live alone, except for Sadie, but am I lonely?
I must admit, I do sometimes feel lonely. It's a weekend, I have no plans, and I have nothing to do, nowhere to be, no events... That's when being alone can start to become lonely!
I have many friends between my work and Church. Trying to balance invitations with beliefs and committments though, has often been trying! I could be very socially active and not alone most of the time! However, for this time in my life I choose to be alone. I enforce aloneness upon myself. But for the most part, I am not lonely! I have many activities, many friends, many outlets... and a dog!
So, Sadie has not been eating as much lately, she has been sleeping a lot, limping a bit when we go for walks...
She's an old dog. It makes me worry and think that she will not be around forever. Her leaving me, makes me sad. It brings up emotions and feelings that I might truly be alone...
At the same time, I am thankful for the time we had together! She has taught me so many things! First and foremost, it's not all about me! There are others in this world that need my attention and care. Sometimes that means self-sacrifice, but none-the-less, the rewards are far greater than the costs! Second, unconditional love is a precious thing! There are, by my experience, five things in this life that provide unconditional love! I have been honored and privaleged to experience four of them! Third, there is a difference between being alone and being lonely! Think for a moment about how much time you spend alone. In the bathroom, in a car, in an elevator, an office, in a line, etc. You may be alone, but there are others around you! People in a similiar or nearly same state as you! You can choose to be lonely...
Reach out...
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Love...
I love my daughters. I love my family. I love my dog. I love my friends. I love my job. I love my work. I love Flagstaff... There are a lot of things that I love...
Is love an overused word? Or is it ill-defined?
How does one define love?
I thought I loved two women, one at a time of course... but none the less, I have come to realize that I still love each of them, for different reasons. Each of them will always have a special place in my heart... for any future woman, I hope that you will be able to understand that...
As I have previously mentioned... I think that friendship is a deeper relationship than marriage; partners (spouses) should be friends first and foremost! So is the love of a friend more important? Or is that the crux... a definition...
Let's take an opposite extreme...
Define hate? I don't hate anything, but know many people that have used the word "hate" in describing various things. Hate, is also a very overused word, at best ill-defined as well... For this discussion, let's define it as, "an extreme dislike, to the point of disgust." Using this definition, I myself have to admit near "hate" for some things...
However, how does an individual profess "hate" for something that ultimately was created for a good purpose? Just because something exercised a free-will judgement to choose a different path...
Here in lies the ultimate dichotomy... does good exist without evil? Silence without noise? Positive without negative?
Love without hate?
Can one know about light, without knowing darkness? Can one experience cold, without comparing it to heat? Or ultimately... is darkness the absence of light; cold, the absence of heat; silence, the absence of noise; evil, the absence of good; hate... the absence of love...
So help me define love! Is it only the absence of hate? Or is it something much more...
Is love an overused word? Or is it ill-defined?
How does one define love?
I thought I loved two women, one at a time of course... but none the less, I have come to realize that I still love each of them, for different reasons. Each of them will always have a special place in my heart... for any future woman, I hope that you will be able to understand that...
As I have previously mentioned... I think that friendship is a deeper relationship than marriage; partners (spouses) should be friends first and foremost! So is the love of a friend more important? Or is that the crux... a definition...
Let's take an opposite extreme...
Define hate? I don't hate anything, but know many people that have used the word "hate" in describing various things. Hate, is also a very overused word, at best ill-defined as well... For this discussion, let's define it as, "an extreme dislike, to the point of disgust." Using this definition, I myself have to admit near "hate" for some things...
However, how does an individual profess "hate" for something that ultimately was created for a good purpose? Just because something exercised a free-will judgement to choose a different path...
Here in lies the ultimate dichotomy... does good exist without evil? Silence without noise? Positive without negative?
Love without hate?
Can one know about light, without knowing darkness? Can one experience cold, without comparing it to heat? Or ultimately... is darkness the absence of light; cold, the absence of heat; silence, the absence of noise; evil, the absence of good; hate... the absence of love...
So help me define love! Is it only the absence of hate? Or is it something much more...
Friends...
An interesting thing happened today, well actual three...
I think I surprised and slightly embarrased a friend, but that's OK... She needed it! Sooner or later she will finally figure it out.
I learned that another friend's voice is 65% back! She's had a cold/laryngitis...
And finally, I got a message from an old High School friend!
These things got me thinking about how important friends are! I have lived a very full and eventful life, for that I am most grateful for, but at times I have often wondered about who else would be interested or even care. Obviously, one's family comes to mind, but not everyone has a family, or at least one that cares... So what does that leave someone? The answer is friends!
Friends are a different, but kind of a special, type of relationship. No one is obligated to be a friend to someone, it has to be a mutual choice... sorta like a marriage, but different. In some ways, I think a friendship is deeper than a marriage. Perhaps that is the secret to a long and happy marriage... more married couples should be friends, even best friends!
I have seen it in action with another friend. He and his wife are best friends. They are more than a couple, more than partners, they are... well... each other! They are totally devoted to one another first and foremost as friends, then as partners, then as husband and wife! I totally envy them! Yes... I'm guilty of that sin! But what they have works!
So to all of my friends, past, present, and future... to those that may happen upon this blog... thank you! Thank you for considering me your friend!
I think I surprised and slightly embarrased a friend, but that's OK... She needed it! Sooner or later she will finally figure it out.
I learned that another friend's voice is 65% back! She's had a cold/laryngitis...
And finally, I got a message from an old High School friend!
These things got me thinking about how important friends are! I have lived a very full and eventful life, for that I am most grateful for, but at times I have often wondered about who else would be interested or even care. Obviously, one's family comes to mind, but not everyone has a family, or at least one that cares... So what does that leave someone? The answer is friends!
Friends are a different, but kind of a special, type of relationship. No one is obligated to be a friend to someone, it has to be a mutual choice... sorta like a marriage, but different. In some ways, I think a friendship is deeper than a marriage. Perhaps that is the secret to a long and happy marriage... more married couples should be friends, even best friends!
I have seen it in action with another friend. He and his wife are best friends. They are more than a couple, more than partners, they are... well... each other! They are totally devoted to one another first and foremost as friends, then as partners, then as husband and wife! I totally envy them! Yes... I'm guilty of that sin! But what they have works!
So to all of my friends, past, present, and future... to those that may happen upon this blog... thank you! Thank you for considering me your friend!
Tuesday, February 03, 2009
Welcome to my ramblings...
I originally posted some 3 years ago... neglected it for about 3 years... now I've decided to restart!
A new beginning!
Tonight I ran to the grocery store... not that I needed to, but felt compelled to. Don't know why, can't explain it, but just knew I needed to go.
While there I saw/met a work friend that needed a ride home. He got it! I had the opportunity to meet his mother and nephew as I helped carry in his groceries. I know that there was a reason, but I don't know the reason! That is something special if you think about it...
Every now and then you are put into certain situations that you don't know why you are there, don't know how you got there, but sorta know that it it's important that you are there! It will make sense to some, but otherwise will be confusing to most... sorry I can't explain it more clearly...
That seems to happen to me a lot. I find myself in situations, find myself being in the right place at just the right moment, I meet people at just the right time...
Sorta weird!
More to come!
I originally posted some 3 years ago... neglected it for about 3 years... now I've decided to restart!
A new beginning!
Tonight I ran to the grocery store... not that I needed to, but felt compelled to. Don't know why, can't explain it, but just knew I needed to go.
While there I saw/met a work friend that needed a ride home. He got it! I had the opportunity to meet his mother and nephew as I helped carry in his groceries. I know that there was a reason, but I don't know the reason! That is something special if you think about it...
Every now and then you are put into certain situations that you don't know why you are there, don't know how you got there, but sorta know that it it's important that you are there! It will make sense to some, but otherwise will be confusing to most... sorry I can't explain it more clearly...
That seems to happen to me a lot. I find myself in situations, find myself being in the right place at just the right moment, I meet people at just the right time...
Sorta weird!
More to come!
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
